Friday, June 3, 2011


I have an electric tea kettle. In the morning I fill it with water, turn it on, and wait. While I wait I put the dishes away, or fold the laundry. Usually by the time these little chores are done the water is boiling and ready to make tea. Also, usually by this time, Emily is done helping with chores and wants to play. With Mommy. Only.

The first time the water boils I usually miss it and 2o minutes later I go and turn the water back on. Then I miss it again. And again. It take a few tries to finally get hot water into a cup and brewing tea.

Once the tea is brewing I usually am distracted or forget until the tea is dark, bitter, and cold. That's how I start my day.

Recently, my life has felt a lot like my tea. Every time I get boiling towards something I get derailed. Every time I start to get happy and enthusiastic the postpartum depression rears its head. The project stops, or I spend a few days just getting through the desperate want to curl into bed and sleep for a week straight. Then I pick up and get going again. Only to get stopped just as I'm ready to start making something.

And when I do finally make something, do something, get somewhere the depression tends to make it taste dark, bitter, and cold. The fog settles over everything and I can see that I would enjoy it if only I didn't feel so rotten.

It's a frustrating thing to drink cold tea all the time.

No comments: