I've mostly been writing up my daily tidbits in Facebook statuses, but watching a three year old becoming a three year old really deserves a blog post. When else do you get to see a person actually attempt to change the laws of nature and reason to suit their preferences? When else do you get challenged to make the impossible happen: everyday? Toddlerhood, that's when
The other week Baba (my Father) was teasing Emily when she asked for a bagel. He asked her what kind he wanted, round?
Emily heard brown and had a freak out that she only wanted a white bagel with white cheese. It took a few minutes to calm her down and explain that round meant the shape of a circle.
Then, because we moved from color preferences to shapes she started to insist on a diamond shaped bagel. Again, there was a fight of wills as I attempted to explain that bagels only come in circles.
Then Daddy can home. Not knowing how long we'd already discussed this bagel he promptly cut the edges off and voila: diamond bagel.
Mommy is a liar and Daddy is a push over.
Of course, now that she knows this can be done Emily insists on having diamond bagels everyday. It hasn't been that bad. I give the edges to Sarah because they are the perfect size for a baby. This morning, however, Emily presented a new challenge.
She wants a diamond bagel, but she doesn't want me to cut the bagel.
And go...
Showing posts with label Toddlerhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Toddlerhood. Show all posts
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Post postpartum depression
Emily is now 2 1/2 and Sarah is 7 months. When Emily was 7 months I was still in the twilight zone of PPD. I could see the happy, giggly baby before me, but I couldn't respond to her.
The more Sarah grows the more aware of how different parenting is when you are "normal." Sarah is a joy. Her milestones are awesome. Having her crawl all over me is lovely. She smells good. I like playing with toys with her and I get a kick out of finding new ways to engage her.
Similarly, Emily's stories are a thrill. Yesterday she told me a long story about how her dinosaur would help her open the door and then there would be grandma and baba! I loved all 30 minutes of this story.
Probably the most pronounced difference though is changing diapers. When Emily was little she would smile and giggle while I changed her. I realize now that while I thought I was interacting with her in fact I just stood there. There was no smile, no talking, no giggling on my end. Now with Sarah there is lots of giggling and talking and teasing while I change a diaper. I can physically feel the difference in my face muscles between now and before. It is a strange feeling to feel like both women in that moment. The one who is truly part of the world and the one that was behind a glass wall.
Not only is is strange feeling, it's a scary one. I always wonder if that depression will come back. Did I escape it since I didn't get depressed after Sarah? Or is it just waiting to come out late? When Emily goes to school and its just me and one baby again? Or when they both leave and I'm left with my husband? Or maybe when they both need me the most and suddenly I'll be stuck again. Behind a wall.
The more Sarah grows the more aware of how different parenting is when you are "normal." Sarah is a joy. Her milestones are awesome. Having her crawl all over me is lovely. She smells good. I like playing with toys with her and I get a kick out of finding new ways to engage her.
Similarly, Emily's stories are a thrill. Yesterday she told me a long story about how her dinosaur would help her open the door and then there would be grandma and baba! I loved all 30 minutes of this story.
Probably the most pronounced difference though is changing diapers. When Emily was little she would smile and giggle while I changed her. I realize now that while I thought I was interacting with her in fact I just stood there. There was no smile, no talking, no giggling on my end. Now with Sarah there is lots of giggling and talking and teasing while I change a diaper. I can physically feel the difference in my face muscles between now and before. It is a strange feeling to feel like both women in that moment. The one who is truly part of the world and the one that was behind a glass wall.
Not only is is strange feeling, it's a scary one. I always wonder if that depression will come back. Did I escape it since I didn't get depressed after Sarah? Or is it just waiting to come out late? When Emily goes to school and its just me and one baby again? Or when they both leave and I'm left with my husband? Or maybe when they both need me the most and suddenly I'll be stuck again. Behind a wall.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
WIP Wednesday
This week has been great for my knitting. Since Im so darn close to yarn shops, with actual yarn in them, here I have got tons of projects going.
First, I'm super stoked to get the Jan Sweater, which was started back in April 2012, finished. Both bodice pieces are done and one sleeve is finished.
Second, I joined a one skein KAL this month and it has come out lovely. I wish I'd used a pink or red yarn, but the yellow and blue is sweet anyway.
Third, since my jan sweater is coming to an end I finally started a sweater for my kids. The baby gets an owl sweater in pink, which was casted on. The toddler will get the same in purple (she picked the color), and I get one in burgundy.
Matching owl sweaters? Yes please!
First, I'm super stoked to get the Jan Sweater, which was started back in April 2012, finished. Both bodice pieces are done and one sleeve is finished.
Second, I joined a one skein KAL this month and it has come out lovely. I wish I'd used a pink or red yarn, but the yellow and blue is sweet anyway.
Third, since my jan sweater is coming to an end I finally started a sweater for my kids. The baby gets an owl sweater in pink, which was casted on. The toddler will get the same in purple (she picked the color), and I get one in burgundy.
Matching owl sweaters? Yes please!
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Diapers
Today Emily chose pull-ups for her diapers. Does this mean she's finally ready for potty training? I dunno. However, isn't it odd that, with all these busy days and much going on, this is the biggest most exciting part of today.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Maybe it's the feminist in me
My toddler was playing with the iPad the other day and opened my Words With Friends App. The next morning I realized she had started a game with a person I play with but don't know personally (He was a random opponent like a month ago and we just keep playing).
I thought that was funny, and I now have two games started with him so I sent a message explaining: "My toddler actually started this game!"
He responded: "Wow! He must be really smart!"
Yes...SHE is.
That's the hell of equality for women. This could be a simple mistake, or just an autopilot. It could mean nothing. Or it could mean that it's far more expected for a male toddler to be smart than for a female. Which is unacceptable. Seriously, from a woman who spent her childhood hearing "She's really smart for a girl" it is really, truly, unacceptable.
I thought that was funny, and I now have two games started with him so I sent a message explaining: "My toddler actually started this game!"
He responded: "Wow! He must be really smart!"
Yes...SHE is.
That's the hell of equality for women. This could be a simple mistake, or just an autopilot. It could mean nothing. Or it could mean that it's far more expected for a male toddler to be smart than for a female. Which is unacceptable. Seriously, from a woman who spent her childhood hearing "She's really smart for a girl" it is really, truly, unacceptable.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Baby Alpaca!
I took a trip to Goodwill today. I was in theory going there to find a large pot in order to cook huge amounts of pasta, but I like to look around and see what all is in there. A few weeks ago when my parents where here we went looking for some clothes for my Dad. While he got some shirts I found a skein of italian mohair for 99 cents. Not a bad find, not bad at all.
Today, however I found a bunch of fun stuff. Including, for 99 cents, two skeins of baby alpaca yarn. It is so darn soft and lovely that when I brought it home I spent a good half hour stroking it and rubbing it against my cheek. I would have rubbed it against my baby bump too...just to give the baby some alpaca yarn, except Emily started to get interested:
Today, however I found a bunch of fun stuff. Including, for 99 cents, two skeins of baby alpaca yarn. It is so darn soft and lovely that when I brought it home I spent a good half hour stroking it and rubbing it against my cheek. I would have rubbed it against my baby bump too...just to give the baby some alpaca yarn, except Emily started to get interested:
Yep, she loves it too.
We spent the rest of the afternoon alternately petting the nice yarn. I have no idea what project this would be good for, but man is it nice to snuggle with now.
In other news the guy at Goodwill said that they had actually received four huge things of yarn. I had cleaned out what was on the floor today (and picked up the mohair earlier) and he said there was more in the back. They package this stuff in a weird way. I had to buy some skeins of Sugar'n Cream in order to get both of the alpaca. I also got some alpaca blends, and other pretties that I had to buy three bags to get the whole set. I worry there may be more of this alpaca yarn in the back...waiting to be reunited with it's other alpaca friends. Also, it'd be nice to have more than two skeins so I could have more project choices.
Guess who is going to be haunting the Goodwill all week?
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Spread it around
On New Year's Eve I took Emily to the Hawaii Children's Discovery Center for their "Countdown to Noon" Balloon Drop. We had a great time playing there, we always do. The Balloon Drop was less than exciting, mostly because I had to pull Emily out from the big drop because parents kept stepping on her. Let me repeat that: Parents kept pushing her around and stepping on her. The kids were very careful around all the smaller babies.
I try to take Emily to the Discovery Center often. It's fun and she can touch and play with whatever she wants. However, I do try to avoid it when it's super busy because things can get a little rowdy. The exceptions are holidays like Halloween and New Year's. Also, every time we've gone to the Center when it was full Emily and I have both caught some awful cold. We get away germ free when it's not full.
So of course since I took her when it was packed we are now both fighting a particularly icky cold. This not only means we both feel terrible, we don't get to go do anything. We don't get to do anything because when my kid is a mess of germ infested snot I try to keep her away from kids who are not covered in germ infested snot. Call me crazy, but I just think it's good manners.
Of course now that I am sick, hot, tired, and really, really, crabby I have this great desire to find the parents who took their sick kid to the Discovery Center at New Years and pass this little snot-bug back to them. In my most vindictive I fantasize that it has already mutated and those parents will be blessed with at least a whole week of grouchy, unhappy kids and a hacking cough that keeps them out of school and bored with daytime television. Ha-ha-ha--achoo.
But I won't. Because I don't want to get people sick. Well not the nice people anyway.
I try to take Emily to the Discovery Center often. It's fun and she can touch and play with whatever she wants. However, I do try to avoid it when it's super busy because things can get a little rowdy. The exceptions are holidays like Halloween and New Year's. Also, every time we've gone to the Center when it was full Emily and I have both caught some awful cold. We get away germ free when it's not full.
So of course since I took her when it was packed we are now both fighting a particularly icky cold. This not only means we both feel terrible, we don't get to go do anything. We don't get to do anything because when my kid is a mess of germ infested snot I try to keep her away from kids who are not covered in germ infested snot. Call me crazy, but I just think it's good manners.
Of course now that I am sick, hot, tired, and really, really, crabby I have this great desire to find the parents who took their sick kid to the Discovery Center at New Years and pass this little snot-bug back to them. In my most vindictive I fantasize that it has already mutated and those parents will be blessed with at least a whole week of grouchy, unhappy kids and a hacking cough that keeps them out of school and bored with daytime television. Ha-ha-ha--achoo.
But I won't. Because I don't want to get people sick. Well not the nice people anyway.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Sleep
The other day my husband asked me "If you had a super power, which one would you want?" and I answered "To get by without needing sleep."
Because for the past few weeks I've had to get by without any sleep. Emily went through a phase where she would sleep for 20 minutes to an hour before she'd wake up and cry. Not fuss, not whine, she'd cry. And it took a lot to settle her down. For naps in the day she'd go down for about half and hour, then it was go-go-go time again. She fell asleep in the car on the way back from Costco and I literally thought of pulling over and napping in the car with her.
Of course I initially blame this strange phase on teeth. Because that is the big cosmic joke isn't it? You're a baby, you have to grow tall, learn to walk, talk, eat, and ask for help in pretty much everything you do. Also - you have to do it all while in terrible, irritating, pain. Then when all the teeth come in and you're finally finished - they fall out and you have to do it all over again. Welcome to the world.
Despite my tooth-theory Emily has finally gone back to sleeping longer (2-3 1/2 hours at a time) and she still has the same amount of teeth she had before. But the dark circles under her eyes are gone and I feel more sane. So maybe they were invisible teeth.
It's amazing how much those extra hours have helped with my relationship with my daughter and my unborn baby. When sleep deprived I did not want to have another baby and I did not want to play with my current baby. Emily was bored. I was tired. Life generally sucked for both of us. Now with some sleep I've noticed the milestones Emily made while not sleeping. She likes to point at pictures in books now. She has finally figured out the shapes and holes bucket (previously she'd try, then take the lid off and put them in the bucket that way). Her new favorite food are clementines and she calls them "Mama." Generally, she's an amazing child. I had no idea because I was too tired.
Also, while I wasn't sleeping my other baby grew arms and legs and when you look at it through an ultrasound you can see its little head being...headlike. When I stare at the picture now I see how amazing it is that these kids can grow so much in such little time. Which is a huge improvement from a week ago when all I could see was how annoying it was that they can get by on such little sleep.
Because for the past few weeks I've had to get by without any sleep. Emily went through a phase where she would sleep for 20 minutes to an hour before she'd wake up and cry. Not fuss, not whine, she'd cry. And it took a lot to settle her down. For naps in the day she'd go down for about half and hour, then it was go-go-go time again. She fell asleep in the car on the way back from Costco and I literally thought of pulling over and napping in the car with her.
Of course I initially blame this strange phase on teeth. Because that is the big cosmic joke isn't it? You're a baby, you have to grow tall, learn to walk, talk, eat, and ask for help in pretty much everything you do. Also - you have to do it all while in terrible, irritating, pain. Then when all the teeth come in and you're finally finished - they fall out and you have to do it all over again. Welcome to the world.
Despite my tooth-theory Emily has finally gone back to sleeping longer (2-3 1/2 hours at a time) and she still has the same amount of teeth she had before. But the dark circles under her eyes are gone and I feel more sane. So maybe they were invisible teeth.
It's amazing how much those extra hours have helped with my relationship with my daughter and my unborn baby. When sleep deprived I did not want to have another baby and I did not want to play with my current baby. Emily was bored. I was tired. Life generally sucked for both of us. Now with some sleep I've noticed the milestones Emily made while not sleeping. She likes to point at pictures in books now. She has finally figured out the shapes and holes bucket (previously she'd try, then take the lid off and put them in the bucket that way). Her new favorite food are clementines and she calls them "Mama." Generally, she's an amazing child. I had no idea because I was too tired.
Also, while I wasn't sleeping my other baby grew arms and legs and when you look at it through an ultrasound you can see its little head being...headlike. When I stare at the picture now I see how amazing it is that these kids can grow so much in such little time. Which is a huge improvement from a week ago when all I could see was how annoying it was that they can get by on such little sleep.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Mama
Emily is becoming quite the accomplished talker. She can say all sorts of things and name a lot of the things she loves: Daddy, Coco (as in Coconut the cat), Joy (the other cat), lights, shoes, Grandma. However, she still won't say Mama. I've tried and tried, but she doesn't see the need for a name for me since I always show up when she needs me. Sometimes when she doesn't need me.
Lately, she's taken to saying "Baba" when she sees and/or wants me. Part of me feels like this is her take on the "mmmm" sound. However, she also calls her snacks, water cup, and clothing "Baba." It might just be the word she likes saying.
But last night as I was laying her in bed she rolled over, half-asleep, reached out her little arms and said ever so softly "Mama."
My heart just about melted.
Lately, she's taken to saying "Baba" when she sees and/or wants me. Part of me feels like this is her take on the "mmmm" sound. However, she also calls her snacks, water cup, and clothing "Baba." It might just be the word she likes saying.
But last night as I was laying her in bed she rolled over, half-asleep, reached out her little arms and said ever so softly "Mama."
My heart just about melted.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Grandparents are good for...
...lots of things. Grandparents are good for a lot of things. But one thing they don't tell you before you have kids is that Grandparents are excellent for your personal hygiene.
Like when they come over for the weekend and Mama gets to take a shower two days in a row.
Grandparents are good for that.
Like when they come over for the weekend and Mama gets to take a shower two days in a row.
Grandparents are good for that.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Clothes
My husband has been helping with Emily's clothes more lately. Usually he has nothing to do with her dressing or changing as he's either at work or asleep when it happens. So he doesn't really know the clothing system I've devised where there are some things that Emily does not fit hanging in her closet and some that she does fit into. This is for two reasons. One - I don't want to pack things away to early. There needs to be a critical mass of clothes that are too small for me to want to break out the boxes and put away a new set of clothes. Two - there are things she will fit soon. Things like pajamas that will be perfect when Emily has another growth spurt, but don't fit now because her arms and legs are fat. If these are left in the box or drawers now, while she doesn't fit them, I will forget them when she is finally ready to wear them and once again my kid will be stuck squeezing into the same dang pair as always - or going naked. Poor Emily.
Of course I know what is part of what system, but my husband doesn't, so the other day he had to attempt to fit a bunch of different pairs of pajamas on her before giving up and handing the screaming toddler over to me.
All of this means it's time to pack. This morning we moved half of the 12 clothes into the bin and made sure all the 18 month clothes were out of storage. There is a giant lack of 18 month clothes so I also went through her 24 month sets and picked out the ones that run small. Circo, Garanimals, and Gerber tend to run smaller. This is all bitter sweet for me. First of all, there are far more casual play clothes in these sets. No more frilly dresses. There are some of course, but for some reason people think toddlers should wear shorts and jeans and play shirts. I personally think she should still wear lacy, frilly things. You can still climb a tree in frilly dresses - trust me I've destroyed enough lace to know.
It's also bittersweet because these clothes are designed to be easier for little people to dress themselves. Emily is already an expert at getting my shorts on over her head and she has figured out sleeves on her shirts. In just a little while she'll be pulling up her own jeans and picking out her own shirts. Gone are the days of me playing dress-up with my little doll. She'll want to put on what she wants and I'll have to nod and say "Okay honey. Good job." As exciting as it is to watch my child make her own choices and take care of herself it is also super sad. I spent a long year trying to remember to savor all this itty-bitty baby-ness. And I still feel like I didn't get enough. I need more baby snuggles, more hours with an tiny hand wrapped around mine.
So maybe I had a third reason for my clothing system: Keeping those little baby things around just a little longer.
Of course I know what is part of what system, but my husband doesn't, so the other day he had to attempt to fit a bunch of different pairs of pajamas on her before giving up and handing the screaming toddler over to me.
All of this means it's time to pack. This morning we moved half of the 12 clothes into the bin and made sure all the 18 month clothes were out of storage. There is a giant lack of 18 month clothes so I also went through her 24 month sets and picked out the ones that run small. Circo, Garanimals, and Gerber tend to run smaller. This is all bitter sweet for me. First of all, there are far more casual play clothes in these sets. No more frilly dresses. There are some of course, but for some reason people think toddlers should wear shorts and jeans and play shirts. I personally think she should still wear lacy, frilly things. You can still climb a tree in frilly dresses - trust me I've destroyed enough lace to know.
It's also bittersweet because these clothes are designed to be easier for little people to dress themselves. Emily is already an expert at getting my shorts on over her head and she has figured out sleeves on her shirts. In just a little while she'll be pulling up her own jeans and picking out her own shirts. Gone are the days of me playing dress-up with my little doll. She'll want to put on what she wants and I'll have to nod and say "Okay honey. Good job." As exciting as it is to watch my child make her own choices and take care of herself it is also super sad. I spent a long year trying to remember to savor all this itty-bitty baby-ness. And I still feel like I didn't get enough. I need more baby snuggles, more hours with an tiny hand wrapped around mine.
So maybe I had a third reason for my clothing system: Keeping those little baby things around just a little longer.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Toddler Love
This weekend I've been trying to decide on a good blog post. Emily is hitting a very difficult stage right now and I'm coming up on a new mama-phase myself. I thought maybe I'd vent some over the new toddler challenges. Or confess over the old mama-failings.
But then this morning I took Emily out to the park and when I picked her up out of the car she rested her head on my shoulder and nuzzled. Earlier that morning she crawled up my chest and planted a big 'ole smacker on my nose. Yesterday, she ran up in the middle of the Discovery Center where she was surrounded by toys and games, gave me a hug, then ran away.
In between all these little sweet moments she's had tantrums and fits and other unpleasantness. I don't care though, because she likes to hug and snuggle now too.
Toddler love is fleeting, but oh so sweet.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Other People
I posted to someone else's blog that hell is other people. I think I'm gonna amend that. Hell is other people's kids.
Emily met her first bully this week. At McDonald's Play Place. She took it in stride, but I've talked about this all week and it still bothers me. Emily, I'm sure, has already forgotten.
There were only a few children at the playground when we went and they were all toddlers. Emily was probably the second youngest and the second smallest kid there. The oldest boy there had to be about two, maybe slightly older. His mother and her friend spent a good portion of the time calling out that he needed to calm down. He did need too, but it wasn't that bad.
In the toddler area they had some soft toys that looked like turtles and ladybugs. Emily loved these, but they were slightly bigger than she was ready for so she was taking her time inspecting how to climb up and ride them. Once she figured it out and went to try the older boy came over, shoved her off, and jumped on. This is where I'm proud of Emily - she just went onto the other. Again, the older boy ran over, shoved her off, and jumped on. They did this for a few rounds before Emily finally ran over to me with the most confused look on her face. After some assurance Emily was off again. And the same thing happened, over and over. First with the turtles, then the slide, the steps, the little houses, the toys, everything. The older boy even felt the need to shut the door to the toddler area and not let anyone in or out despite much pulling and screaming. Emily never got to whining or crying, but the other children did. The last straw was when Emily was playing in a house and the boy ran over, knocked her on the ground, then kicked - kicked - her by her stomach out of the house and onto the play mat. Emily ran over (still not crying) and I scooped her up and whisked her away. We left right after that. Emily might not have been bothered, but Mommy was freaked.
The thing that really bothered me was the complete lack of reaction by this boy's mother. Part of me wants to vent and holler that she didn't do anything. The other part of me wants to not be a judgmental bitch and try to acknowledge that she was probably tired, has to take care of a very active (possibly overactive) child all the time, and maybe this wasn't really bad behavior for him. Maybe she needed to pick her battles. I only saw him for an hour I can't judge what was the best thing to do for him.
I can judge what was best for Emily though and that made me want to make a big deal of pushing and hitting and kicking. I wanted to holler and tsk and be very upset so that Emily would get the idea that behavior like that is totally unacceptable. Because in my little world it is. But it wasn't my little world and it wasn't my little kid. So I resorted to the typical Hawaii-style commentary and pointedly looked at his mother while I said to Emily "That boy plays too rough, what a meany-head." She, in typical Hawaii-style, rolled her eyes. Auwe!
The real bad part about this run in with a bully is that I'm totally worried Emily is going to emulate him. Now, when she plays, I am always watching for some sign of bullishness that I need to nip in the bud quick. Instead of seeing my sweet girl going to play with another kid in the totally unaware-of-personal-space way toddlers play I see her drop-kicking her new friend into the parking lot. That sucks. It's not fair to Emily. It's not fair she had to leave cause someone else was too aggressive and it's not fair that her mother is now certain she's gonna try these new play tactics soon. She deserves the benefit of the doubt. And a safe playground.
And I blame all this on other people - and their kids! (And, okay, maybe some of my own neurosis.)
Emily met her first bully this week. At McDonald's Play Place. She took it in stride, but I've talked about this all week and it still bothers me. Emily, I'm sure, has already forgotten.
There were only a few children at the playground when we went and they were all toddlers. Emily was probably the second youngest and the second smallest kid there. The oldest boy there had to be about two, maybe slightly older. His mother and her friend spent a good portion of the time calling out that he needed to calm down. He did need too, but it wasn't that bad.
In the toddler area they had some soft toys that looked like turtles and ladybugs. Emily loved these, but they were slightly bigger than she was ready for so she was taking her time inspecting how to climb up and ride them. Once she figured it out and went to try the older boy came over, shoved her off, and jumped on. This is where I'm proud of Emily - she just went onto the other. Again, the older boy ran over, shoved her off, and jumped on. They did this for a few rounds before Emily finally ran over to me with the most confused look on her face. After some assurance Emily was off again. And the same thing happened, over and over. First with the turtles, then the slide, the steps, the little houses, the toys, everything. The older boy even felt the need to shut the door to the toddler area and not let anyone in or out despite much pulling and screaming. Emily never got to whining or crying, but the other children did. The last straw was when Emily was playing in a house and the boy ran over, knocked her on the ground, then kicked - kicked - her by her stomach out of the house and onto the play mat. Emily ran over (still not crying) and I scooped her up and whisked her away. We left right after that. Emily might not have been bothered, but Mommy was freaked.
The thing that really bothered me was the complete lack of reaction by this boy's mother. Part of me wants to vent and holler that she didn't do anything. The other part of me wants to not be a judgmental bitch and try to acknowledge that she was probably tired, has to take care of a very active (possibly overactive) child all the time, and maybe this wasn't really bad behavior for him. Maybe she needed to pick her battles. I only saw him for an hour I can't judge what was the best thing to do for him.
I can judge what was best for Emily though and that made me want to make a big deal of pushing and hitting and kicking. I wanted to holler and tsk and be very upset so that Emily would get the idea that behavior like that is totally unacceptable. Because in my little world it is. But it wasn't my little world and it wasn't my little kid. So I resorted to the typical Hawaii-style commentary and pointedly looked at his mother while I said to Emily "That boy plays too rough, what a meany-head." She, in typical Hawaii-style, rolled her eyes. Auwe!
The real bad part about this run in with a bully is that I'm totally worried Emily is going to emulate him. Now, when she plays, I am always watching for some sign of bullishness that I need to nip in the bud quick. Instead of seeing my sweet girl going to play with another kid in the totally unaware-of-personal-space way toddlers play I see her drop-kicking her new friend into the parking lot. That sucks. It's not fair to Emily. It's not fair she had to leave cause someone else was too aggressive and it's not fair that her mother is now certain she's gonna try these new play tactics soon. She deserves the benefit of the doubt. And a safe playground.
And I blame all this on other people - and their kids! (And, okay, maybe some of my own neurosis.)
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Yarn Along 3
Yarn Along with Ginny again
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| My Goal |
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| My Distraction |
Still reading "Contested Will" this week. Haven't got far. I like James Shapiro, but he is super academic. I have a pretty big vocabulary and I'm running across new words in this book. Also, it's the kind of book where you need to follow the little details to get the full gist of the hoaxes and conspiracies - in other words you need to pay attention. I can't even get through one row of ribbing without getting distracted (see the cute kid running away with the wool and a knitting needle) so getting through this book is going to take some doing. Or some serious nap time.
I am also this close to finishing the red sweater. I did a lot of construction stitching this past week which 1) kept me from ribbing and 2) did not get me to finished. I have about 4 more inches of the last zipper flap to sew up. The flap isn't long enough though, so I really have 4 more inches of ribbing to do on that first. Then sew. Then weave more ends (there are a lot of ends). Then sew the zipper in.
Didn't I say I was almost finished?
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Grandparents
This past week my parents came over from Maui to visit. They came for Emily's birthday, but honestly it was a gift to me. For the first time in months I was able to do things without Emily. I went to the eye doctor, I got my hair done, I went dress shopping and actually got to try something on. Most of all I got a ton of time at home to not chase the baby around. My parents chased her around instead.
In addition to all this mommy-time I am heading back to full-time parenting with a brand-new baby. This past week Emily has leaped from charming baby to full-blown toddler with new words, expressions, games, skills and personality. This always happens when we visit with my parents - I call it the "Grandma Effect." I don't know what it is, but Emily always saves all her new skills for when my parents are around. I often say "Oh, she doesn't know how to do that yet" and then, right then, she'll do it.
Part of me worries this is a reflection on my mothering skills. Maybe my parents are better. I know that I often don't talk as much as my mother does. I want to, I try to, but then the exhaustion sets in and I find myself changing a diaper silently. Emily doesn't seem to mind, I still smile and interact with her, but the words disappear. I also may not push her as hard. Since noticing how she reacted to other family members pressing her to crawl I made up my mind to let her lead the way when it comes to milestones. But that also means sometimes I forget to put the crayon in her hand. Grandma does it all the time.
Grandma and Grandpa also let her do lots of things Mama does not. Like play with their phones and computers and glasses. I try not to use "no" a lot with Emily - only for certain things that could get her killed or break something really valuable - but for some reason when Grandma and Grandpa say "no" she listens much more than she does to me.
In general, Emily loves her grandparents. They left yesterday and this morning she ran into their room over and over looking for them. If she hadn't decided to get her hug from me instead I might have gotten really jealous.
The rational part of me knows that the new people and interaction is what spurs Emily to grow, not anything lacking in me. My brother has even said his children do the same thing. But it's hard not to watch my Mom and think she does everything better than me. I'm lucky I have a wonderful mother who knows so much. I want to be just like her and am never sure if I will.
In addition to all this mommy-time I am heading back to full-time parenting with a brand-new baby. This past week Emily has leaped from charming baby to full-blown toddler with new words, expressions, games, skills and personality. This always happens when we visit with my parents - I call it the "Grandma Effect." I don't know what it is, but Emily always saves all her new skills for when my parents are around. I often say "Oh, she doesn't know how to do that yet" and then, right then, she'll do it.
Part of me worries this is a reflection on my mothering skills. Maybe my parents are better. I know that I often don't talk as much as my mother does. I want to, I try to, but then the exhaustion sets in and I find myself changing a diaper silently. Emily doesn't seem to mind, I still smile and interact with her, but the words disappear. I also may not push her as hard. Since noticing how she reacted to other family members pressing her to crawl I made up my mind to let her lead the way when it comes to milestones. But that also means sometimes I forget to put the crayon in her hand. Grandma does it all the time.
Grandma and Grandpa also let her do lots of things Mama does not. Like play with their phones and computers and glasses. I try not to use "no" a lot with Emily - only for certain things that could get her killed or break something really valuable - but for some reason when Grandma and Grandpa say "no" she listens much more than she does to me.
In general, Emily loves her grandparents. They left yesterday and this morning she ran into their room over and over looking for them. If she hadn't decided to get her hug from me instead I might have gotten really jealous.
The rational part of me knows that the new people and interaction is what spurs Emily to grow, not anything lacking in me. My brother has even said his children do the same thing. But it's hard not to watch my Mom and think she does everything better than me. I'm lucky I have a wonderful mother who knows so much. I want to be just like her and am never sure if I will.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Now we are one
Emily turned One a few days ago. To celebrate my parents flew over from Maui and are spending the week here. We've had a lot of fun.
A few things about this day:
Emily had an angel food cake with fresh berries on top. She loved the berries.
Emily got three dolls for her birthday. One from Mama (me), one from Grandma, and one from Auntie Karlen.
Emily got some clothes - all three sizes too big for her. She has some growing to do. (She got a onesie that was size 24 month and said "My 1st Birthday" which seems...not right.)
A few things about Toddler Emily:
She started walking months ago and now can run.
She loves to dance.
She wears 12-18 month clothes.
She wears a shoe size 4.
She needs a haircut, but I'm not going to give her one.
She likes to eat fruit, cheese, cheerios, yogurt, eggs, carrots, and lettuce. Like a true hawaii baby she likes spam. But she'll try anything.
She can say: Mama, Daddy, Kitty cat, Meow, Hi, Bye, Tree, Blue, Fish, Books, Bird, among hundreds of other words.
She will read her books to herself.
She loves cars and trucks. (I got her some dump trucks for her birthday too.)
She has six teeth officially.
She is a super happy, super easy, super fun child. She is my best friend and I love being with her.
A few things about this day:
Emily had an angel food cake with fresh berries on top. She loved the berries.
Emily got three dolls for her birthday. One from Mama (me), one from Grandma, and one from Auntie Karlen.
Emily got some clothes - all three sizes too big for her. She has some growing to do. (She got a onesie that was size 24 month and said "My 1st Birthday" which seems...not right.)
A few things about Toddler Emily:
She started walking months ago and now can run.
She loves to dance.
She wears 12-18 month clothes.
She wears a shoe size 4.
She needs a haircut, but I'm not going to give her one.
She likes to eat fruit, cheese, cheerios, yogurt, eggs, carrots, and lettuce. Like a true hawaii baby she likes spam. But she'll try anything.
She can say: Mama, Daddy, Kitty cat, Meow, Hi, Bye, Tree, Blue, Fish, Books, Bird, among hundreds of other words.
She will read her books to herself.
She loves cars and trucks. (I got her some dump trucks for her birthday too.)
She has six teeth officially.
She is a super happy, super easy, super fun child. She is my best friend and I love being with her.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
My Child is Bacon
My child is bacon. My child is bacon.
It is very strange the kind of mantras I use to get me through rough patches. Emily has been going through a rough patch recently so that means so have I.
She won't be put down. I am not allowed to speak on my phone, put the dishes away, or brush my teeth. Mostly, Emily wants to nurse. I don't mind that, but she pinches when she nurses. Hard. She won't be distracted to pinch a blanket or doll. She needs flesh. My flesh. It hurts, makes me cranky, and is incessantly annoying. If I fuss at her she cries and demands more milk. Which means more pinching.
This is a difficult phase. We'll figure it out, but it's hard right now. So I tell myself: My child is bacon.
One of Emily's preferred snacks are theses corn puffs that are flavored with cinnamon and maple. She eats them with cheese or yogurt. Sometimes just by themselves. She enjoys them. It makes her smell like maple syrup. All the time. No amount of washing gets maple syrup smell out. It has absorbed into her skin. My little baby is cured in maple. Correction, my fat little baby is cured in maple.
Though she's lost a lot of that infant fat, Emily is still a breastfed-fat baby. She has chunky thighs and soft cheeks. Her tummy sticks out like a little kwepie doll. I love it. When I hold her, even as she pinches me, I admire that happy, baby, fat. It reminds me of fat, dirty, little piglets. I reminds me of bacon. And with the smell of maple seeping out of her I can only imagine that she tastes like bacon too. Fat, thick, sweet, bacon.
My child, my pinching, biting, fussing, child. That child who gave me a fat lip last night throwing a fit about sleeping a few hours in the toddler bed. That child is bacon. Fat, thick, sweet child. Fat, thick, sweet bacon. The kind that makes me happy. It is what gets me through till nap time.
My child is bacon.
It is very strange the kind of mantras I use to get me through rough patches. Emily has been going through a rough patch recently so that means so have I.
She won't be put down. I am not allowed to speak on my phone, put the dishes away, or brush my teeth. Mostly, Emily wants to nurse. I don't mind that, but she pinches when she nurses. Hard. She won't be distracted to pinch a blanket or doll. She needs flesh. My flesh. It hurts, makes me cranky, and is incessantly annoying. If I fuss at her she cries and demands more milk. Which means more pinching.
This is a difficult phase. We'll figure it out, but it's hard right now. So I tell myself: My child is bacon.
One of Emily's preferred snacks are theses corn puffs that are flavored with cinnamon and maple. She eats them with cheese or yogurt. Sometimes just by themselves. She enjoys them. It makes her smell like maple syrup. All the time. No amount of washing gets maple syrup smell out. It has absorbed into her skin. My little baby is cured in maple. Correction, my fat little baby is cured in maple.
Though she's lost a lot of that infant fat, Emily is still a breastfed-fat baby. She has chunky thighs and soft cheeks. Her tummy sticks out like a little kwepie doll. I love it. When I hold her, even as she pinches me, I admire that happy, baby, fat. It reminds me of fat, dirty, little piglets. I reminds me of bacon. And with the smell of maple seeping out of her I can only imagine that she tastes like bacon too. Fat, thick, sweet, bacon.
My child, my pinching, biting, fussing, child. That child who gave me a fat lip last night throwing a fit about sleeping a few hours in the toddler bed. That child is bacon. Fat, thick, sweet child. Fat, thick, sweet bacon. The kind that makes me happy. It is what gets me through till nap time.
My child is bacon.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Kitty!
Emily and Joy taking a nap together.
We're pretty lucky that Emily really loves our cats and the cats seem to tolerate Emily very well. Emily's best friends are our two cats Joy and Coconut. Her first word was kitty and now she knows how to meow. It's pretty adorable.
We're lucky that these two cats like Emily. They're amazingly tolerant. Both of them will play with Emily and let her chase them around the house. Often I will find all three of them sitting down together and getting into trouble. When Emily goes into her play area in the living room Joy often follows and sits close by. Coconut keeps a safer distance, but is never too far off in case Emily might drop a cookie for him to gobble up. They both let her pet them as well as pull on their whiskers and, in the case of the other night, ride their tails. (Emily held onto Joy's tail as she was walking away and Joy dragged her across the floor...no screaming from cat or toddler.)
I sometimes worry about Emily not having a sibling to play with now, but she seems content to socialize with the cats and that's pretty sweet. After all, that's what her mother does. Some of my best friends have been kitties and I'm glad Emily has some cat friends too.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Happy House Week 2
So I am completing my second week of the Happy House Express Challenge. You could ask why I don't start and/or end my week on a Sunday. It's because I don't work weekends. Well, much. I don't work fulltime on the weekends. I'll feed and cloth my child but my floors will have to stay unswept.
That being said here's how I've done:
Week 1
Make the bed 7/7 (I actually do this on the weekends)
Empty the sink 6/7 (I do this too, I missed Wednesday though because of the tire thing)
Honestly Week 1 was a gimme since that was the week I cleaned top to bottom and made the house not just happy but orgasmically happy.
Week 2
Make the bed 7/7
Empty the sink 7/7
Clear the clutter 5/7 (I spent a lot of time re-clearing the clutter of my living room, but since we spend most of our time there the rest of the place still isn't that bad)
Sweep the kitchen floor 4/7
There is it. The house looks lived in again, but not a disaster zone. Which is a semi-miracle considering my house elf sometimes does more
That being said here's how I've done:
Week 1
Make the bed 7/7 (I actually do this on the weekends)
Empty the sink 6/7 (I do this too, I missed Wednesday though because of the tire thing)
Honestly Week 1 was a gimme since that was the week I cleaned top to bottom and made the house not just happy but orgasmically happy.
Week 2
Make the bed 7/7
Empty the sink 7/7
Clear the clutter 5/7 (I spent a lot of time re-clearing the clutter of my living room, but since we spend most of our time there the rest of the place still isn't that bad)
Sweep the kitchen floor 4/7
There is it. The house looks lived in again, but not a disaster zone. Which is a semi-miracle considering my house elf sometimes does more
harm
than help.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Amazed
The other day I posted on facebook that the only thing better than Baby Emily is Toddler Emily. It is so true. If I was enamored with Emily before I'm absolutely astounded by her now.
This morning I found myself more than a little exhausted while Emily was well rested. So while she let me drink my tea on the couch I watched as she went to the shoe rack and proceeded to reorganize it as she saw fit. Normally one would think this means she pulled all the shoes out of the rack and left a giant pile on the floor. Normally one would be right.
However, this morning she went for the shoe box on dad's side. She carefully pulled it out, then carefully unpacked the brand new sneakers inside. Faced with two new shoes and an empty box she decided to put the shoes away. Put them away on the shoe shelf...where they belong! However, silly mama had put her own blue sandals on the tops shelf. So she, holding a shoe that was about half her size, moved the sandals back down to the bottom shelf and then put dad's shoes away. That done she finally had what she was after: the empty shoe box.
It took her awhile but she managed to toddle over to the couch with the box. It wasn't easy. If she held it by the top the bottom would hang down and hit her knees. If she held it by the bottom she couldn't see over it and keep it off the floor at the same time. When she did get a good grip on it the cat would get in her way because he too loves empty shoe boxes. She made it though.
I love that she figured all this out on her own. I love that she doesn't get stymied by obstacles and problems. I love that she has a determined face that means she will get this done. She has that face a lot more than I do. I often am daunted and slowed by the little problems. They take awhile for me to tackle, sometimes I have to walk away and come back fresh. Emily just figures it out.
I love it. I love her. I wish I was more like her.
This morning I found myself more than a little exhausted while Emily was well rested. So while she let me drink my tea on the couch I watched as she went to the shoe rack and proceeded to reorganize it as she saw fit. Normally one would think this means she pulled all the shoes out of the rack and left a giant pile on the floor. Normally one would be right.
However, this morning she went for the shoe box on dad's side. She carefully pulled it out, then carefully unpacked the brand new sneakers inside. Faced with two new shoes and an empty box she decided to put the shoes away. Put them away on the shoe shelf...where they belong! However, silly mama had put her own blue sandals on the tops shelf. So she, holding a shoe that was about half her size, moved the sandals back down to the bottom shelf and then put dad's shoes away. That done she finally had what she was after: the empty shoe box.
It took her awhile but she managed to toddle over to the couch with the box. It wasn't easy. If she held it by the top the bottom would hang down and hit her knees. If she held it by the bottom she couldn't see over it and keep it off the floor at the same time. When she did get a good grip on it the cat would get in her way because he too loves empty shoe boxes. She made it though.
I love that she figured all this out on her own. I love that she doesn't get stymied by obstacles and problems. I love that she has a determined face that means she will get this done. She has that face a lot more than I do. I often am daunted and slowed by the little problems. They take awhile for me to tackle, sometimes I have to walk away and come back fresh. Emily just figures it out.
I love it. I love her. I wish I was more like her.
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