2013

I have tried this blogging thing many different times. It goes in fits and starts - I'd get pretty good at keeping up, then stop as other things distracted me. The biggest problem was when I ended up doing something just a little interesting I'd be to busy with it to blog about it. So mostly I've blogged about the more boring parts of my life and as it is a tiny life already that can mean pretty mundane blogging.

This year I will try to blog about the interesting stuff.

We started the new year in Las Vegas. That sounds more exciting that it was. We celebrated early with a birthday dinner for my grandmother-in-law. It was a fancy dinner at Nove Italiano on the top of the Palms hotel. I believe our family will be debating which dish was the best for years to come ( in our house we're still trying to decide between the Nove Spaghetti with seafood to the 45 day dry aged New York strip with balsamic glaze).

Speaking of our house: we are not in it. Well, not till June at least. My husband has a military thing to do in Monterey, CA and we have moved all four of us out here for the next few months. The plan is for my husband to not miss the the baby's big milestones and to have a bit of an adventure as a family. So far I've been in Monterey for four days and I love it. We're enjoying the cold weather, so different from our home in Ewa, and I love the view of the ocean. I look forward to the trips and adventures that are so close to our little temporary home.

I also look forward to getting a chance to write about it and reflect on how awesome my life can be at times.

Spread it around

On New Year's Eve I took Emily to the Hawaii Children's Discovery Center for their "Countdown to Noon" Balloon Drop.  We had a great time playing there, we always do.  The Balloon Drop was less than exciting, mostly because I had to pull Emily out from the big drop because parents kept stepping on her.  Let me repeat that:  Parents kept pushing her around and stepping on her.  The kids were very careful around all the smaller babies.

I try to take Emily to the Discovery Center often.  It's fun and she can touch and play with whatever she wants.  However, I do try to avoid it when it's super busy because things can get a little rowdy.  The exceptions are holidays like Halloween and New Year's.  Also, every time we've gone to the Center when it was full Emily and I have both caught some awful cold.  We get away germ free when it's not full.

So of course since I took her when it was packed we are now both fighting a particularly icky cold.  This not only means we both feel terrible, we don't get to go do anything.  We don't get to do anything because when my kid is a mess of germ infested snot I try to keep her away from kids who are not covered in germ infested snot.  Call me crazy, but I just think it's good manners.

Of course now that I am sick, hot, tired, and really, really, crabby I have this great desire to find the parents who took their sick kid to the Discovery Center at New Years and pass this little snot-bug back to them.  In my most vindictive I fantasize that it has already mutated and those parents will be blessed with at least a whole week of grouchy, unhappy kids and a hacking cough that keeps them out of school and bored with daytime television.  Ha-ha-ha--achoo.

But I won't.  Because I don't want to get people sick.  Well not the nice people anyway.

Christmas in Hawaii

Today one of my friends in Chicago posted a picture of the highway covered in snow and claimed "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas."  From what I heard it was beginning to look like Christmas in October on the East Coast.

Hawaii gets a lot of scoffing because we don't have "seasons."  This is untrue.  We have lots of season.  We have the hot season, the mango season, the whale season, the rainy season, kiawe season, hurricane season...we have tons of seasons.

Back when I lived on Maui winter came with snow too.  At the top of the mountain.  The very top of Haleakala.  It is always cold up there (no really, bring a coat!), but during winter it will get snowy and icy.  I lived on Maui back when keeping people alive was not a priority so they let us Mauians drive up there when it snowed.  That would be a ton of people who have never seen ice in anything but a drink driving up a steep, should-be-one-lane, switch back road that ends in an abrupt drop some 10,000 feet long.  I would make some snowballs and we'd take them back down to Kahului and watch them melt.

Oahu doesn't have natural snow like Maui does.  Instead Pearl Highlands Center trucked in an advertised 40 tons of snow and dumped it in the parking lot in front of the movie theater.  I wasn't sure what 40 tons of snow looked like, but I thought it would make more than two little piles.  We tried to play in it, but it was mostly just a slippery mound of ice and Emily was totally freaked out by the kids running to the top then sliding down just as quickly.  She patted a snowball for awhile and then we left.  That was Emily's first taste of snow.  She wore shorts, a t-shirt, and her sandals.

Other holiday highlights in Hawaii include the arrival of Santa Claus - by canoe at the Outrigger Waikiki.  Here Santa often wears an aloha shirt and board shorts.  And slippahs.  I actually think this is a cop out and I prefer the Santa's who tough out the heat and wear the full coat.  Last year Pearlridge Santa wore the fuzzy pants but opted for shirt sleeves and suspenders.  And no hat.  Lame.

In Hawaii not all of us decorate palm trees.  Some of us do.  Some opt for the tropical Cook Pine.  I got a Noble Fir.  On Maui there is a tree farm in Kula where you need to wear a sweater and can pick out your own tree.  On Oahu we got ours at Don Quixote.  I wonder if the Don Quixote's in Japan also sell trees?

My biggest problem with Christmas in Hawaii is finding pajamas for Emily.  If they are in her size they are not very cute and/or they are covered in branded characters.  I have no problem with Emily liking characters and will indulge her when she decides what she loves, but I don't want to force it till she does.    Also, if I do find pajamas that are cute and fit her they are incredibly too warm for Ewa Beach.  No footies, no long sleeves, no fleece - please.  A cute set of santa-like swim suits would be just fine.  But no one makes those.

The best part of Christmas this year has been our garden.  D finally found sometime to really put it together and we've been working outside to plant and make things look nice out there.  That's right.  It's mid-December and we've been working in the garden.  In shorts.

Mele Kalikimaka.

No place like home

I am a transplant in my own home.  I grew up in Hawaii, but I grew up on Maui.  I now, after bouncing around, live on Oahu.  People come up to me and ask me where I'm from and are surprised when I say "Here."  But then I have to qualify because while I'm from Hawaii Oahu and Maui are two very different places and you can give me directions based on certain people's houses on my island but on Oahu I need street names (also, I use a GPS...Auwe!).

My being a stranger in a really familiar land gives me an interesting perspective.  I get treated like a visitor and then, in the same breath, a local.  I will speak pidgin at Foodland and midwestern at the Commissary (it helps!)  I can see all the hardships of being a mainlander in Hawaii.  I get how it can be totally frustrating, but I also see all the things that make home home.  Just like in any unique culture there are good and bad.  If you grew up with it the bad is a small price to pay for the feeling of belonging.  If you are new here it takes a lot of patience to see the beauty in our calabash land.

I might take some work too.  Which is why when people talk about my hometown of Maui and only complain about how it's just resorts and boringness it drives me crazy.  I feel like Oahu is just city and hotels myself, but I get out to see the beauty of the island anyway.  A rainbow everyday?  Yes please.  Driving through the Ko'olau's?  Ahhhh.

Maui has the same things and some others.  Pine forests, hunting, snow.  Rainforests, hundreds of waterfalls in one stretch of road, black sand beaches.  All there.  Like warm.  There is a desert!  Like fish, more snorkeling beaches AND a protected atoll (Molokini) only about an hour boat ride away.  You can seriously go from arctic wear to beach wear in just half a day of biking.

In short, I feel like if you don't like Maui you're doing it wrong.  Give me three days.  It's my home and, trust me, there is something to love.

Similarly, Oahu isn't that bad either.  Wait till 9am when the traffic clears up and, trust me, there is something to love.  I'm glad it's my transplant home.

Gobbled

We had a good Thanksgiving.  

I made two turkeys, twelve pounds of cranberry sauce, two pesto-cheese tortas, corn pudding, corn bread, sweet potatoes, stuffing, roasted vegetables, and lobster salad.  There were potatoes and a pineapple casserole that I am still dreaming about.  

I made twenty-two pies: sweet potato, pecan, pumpkin, and apple.

I went to two pre-dinners and one pizza party at Costco.  

I ate some food.  I fed people more food.  I packed a lot of food to give to other people and cooked some more - to give to other people.  

I cleaned the place, top to bottom, multiple times.  Emily made twice the messes as normal.

I am thoroughly exhausted.  Emily is thoroughly exhausted.  D is well stuffed.  

I am so tired that all I want to do is

Go out and get a Christmas Tree!

I love that my holidays are now busy and filled with cheer!

Extended Holidays

We're coming up on Thanksgiving here in the U.S. and soon after it is officially acceptable to put up your Christmas decorations.  At least in our neighborhood.

I've noticed in my adult life that we, as an American society, have a few extra traditions regarding end of the year holidays.  The rehashing of the "War on Christmas" where saying "Happy Holidays" is a sign of our moral decline and being inclusive is, for at least one season, Unamerican and Unchristian.  And then the cries of "Foul" on early Christmas decorations.  Anything earlier than Thanksgiving is decried on Facebook, Twitter, Blogs, and general life.  I even saw a photo floating around of Nordstrom's sign declaring they will not deck their halls early (but it doesn't mean you shouldn't start shopping early).

However, I will not be complaining about these things.  The winter holidays are great.  Really great.  They are built to remind us, in the bleakest part of the year, to be joyful.  To be happy you're surviving winter and to hold people you love close.  Even presents, that gateway to evil commercialism, is an excuse to really think about the people you love and try to understand what they enjoy.  It's an excuse to work for something really pure: a happy smile.  Holidays are great.  Therefore I am happy to extend them.

Growing up, we celebrated Christmas for the whole 12 days.  I loved celebrating from December 1 to January 6.  After most New Year Resolutions end you still have Christmas.  But even that is too short.  I am all for extending before December 1 and keeping it going till February.  Afterall, don't we always say that the charity, love, and goodwill shown at the holidays should be practiced year round?  Well why not practice it with decorations too.

So this year I started watching Hallmark Christmas movies in November.  I spent every night having my heart warmed by sticky sweet stories that ended well and always reminded you that family and love are paramount.  I spent everyday reminded of magic in the world, either by miracle, a elf and sleigh, or pure goodwill.  Every wreath, every decoration, every song about joy and birth, reminded me about my blessings and my ability to offer love to other people.

Now we are coming up on the day where we will eat in abundance.  How lucky that we can do so.  I have been cooking all week.  (I made 22 pies.)  I have braved the supermarkets.  I have cleaned and cleaned.  And because I am filled with the holiday spirit I have done it cheerfully.  (Even with a toddler.)

I love the holidays and I love them long.  All of them from Thanksgiving to Twelfth Night.  From Chanukah to Yule.  I say keep the love going until Valentines and then keep it going some more.

Happy Holidays!

Maybe this time...

I've said it before, I'll say it again:  I want to blog interesting things, but every time my life starts getting interesting I no longer have time to blog.

Instead I'll just try to jump back in after my hiatus of other-than-online business or rather busy-ness.

Or that was my plan.  Then this morning I found out that we are expecting our second child.  Which means life will getting more interesting and far more busy.

But maybe this time I'll get it all balanced out again.

Extrovert?

This past week I've bumped into two learning experiences that make me want to reevaluate how I see myself.

Earlier in the week I went on an excursion with two other stay-at-home women.  We enjoyed the company and lamented that it was rather rare for us (as individuals) to get out of the house.  I lamented that I was having trouble finding friends here in Oahu because I was so shy.  Both of them together instantly exclaimed "You're shy?  We never would have guessed that!"

Hmm.

Later in the week I attended a training class for Air Force Key Spouses.  Part of the class was finding your "True Color" which is a very quick and dirty personality identifier.  I fond myself with one other person sitting at the Blue Table.  Blue people are described as:

Your communication style creates peace and harmony.  As a Blue personality you are gifted with tremendous people skills.

You have a strong need to make a difference in the lives of other people. This strength is immediately noticeable in the way you make heart felt connections and bring out the best in those you encounter. People usually feel relaxed and comfortable in your presence.

You love to build self-esteem and make others feel good about who they are. You can easily motivate and inspire people to make changes in their lives and reach their potential.

Along with the above our class leader also mentioned that Blue people tend to be more extroverted.

Hmm.  Again.

I've always seen myself as shy.  It's extremely difficult for me to talk to people or be in a situation where I don't know many people.  I get nervous if I think someone can see me drive.  I often am stumped for things to say and initial conversations usually die awkwardly.  After socializing with lots of people I feel drained.

That being said my desire for human contact trumps my social anxiety.  I would rather feel uncomfortable and weird if it means ending the loneliness.   Now that I've run into more evidence that people see me as extroverted I wonder if it means what I thought it did.  Perhaps extroverts aren't people who easily flow through relationships and conversations as second nature.  Perhaps they all work hard at it, plan it, practice it, until they achieve the look of someone who doesn't get nervous surround by strangers.  Perhaps it's like being brave.  Where you act in spite of your fear rather than because you have no fear.  I am shy, but I put myself out there anyway, in spite of it.  I might be brave.  Or I might be extroverted.

It's times like these that I wish I could listen in to the thoughts of someone else.  I'd love to know if all those people who seems so outgoing to me have the same fears, worries, and doubts I do.  I want to know if they had to spend years practicing how to keep a conversation flowing or how to introduce themselves in an easy and welcoming way.  At the same time as I listen to others thoughts I really want to see myself through their eyes.  Do they see all the hurt, fear, and turmoil I feel?  Am I as transparent as I feel I am?  Or do they think I'm like them.  Outgoing, friendly, the person I really try to be.

Ever asked yourself if maybe you might actually have the thing you really want?  What happens when the answer is yes?

Moment

You know those commercials where a woman is dressed in really comfortable clothes, like pajamas, but still looks impossibly pretty settles down into some really comfortable couch or chair that is not covered in cat hair?  The one where she has something like a cup of coffee, or a thing of yogurt, or a chocolate bar?  The commercial where she sits down and as soon as she indulges in whatever she has she experiences a moment of utter bliss and contentment that you feel you need to emulate because honestly you really, truly, need to have a moment of utter contentment and bliss?  You know that commercial?  You know that moment?

I had one last night.  I was wearing Hello Kitty pajamas covered in baby food.  My hair was frizzy and messy.  I was covered in Pumpkin Patch dirt.  My couch was covered in cat hair despite being just vacuumed.  My husband was making some strange noise with his cocoa.  But I had that moment anyway.

It was Chocolate Mint Truffle Hot Cocoa.  Ahhh.

Boo!

I love Halloween.  I love it.  I adore it.  I love the fact that there is a time every year where my obsession with costumes, goth, hay, and candy are all perfectly acceptable.

So the other weekend while D was napping and Emily and I were running out of fun things to do.  I collected a bunch of stuff and made myself a scarecrow.

He is wearing my father's gardening pants (that were hanging in the guest room), my snuggly flannel jacket, a kerchief, and my father's gardening gloves (that I found hiding in the pockets of his pants).  I stuffed him with plastic shopping bags and his shoulders are made from a palm frond with the leaves stripped off.  I think the effect is a little ruined by the fact he's sitting in front of a bunch of palm trees, ti plants, and there are two pink hibiscus trees behind him.  No colored leaves or spooky trees in Hawaii.  However, D managed to convince the little boys next door that this guy was real and if they came too close he'd jump up and grab them.

Since this picture I've given him some pumpkins to hang on to and I want to add some lights and my other decorations in the front windows.  12 days left till Halloween and that's as far as I've gotten.

Boo.

Military...Grr

Awhile ago there were some rumblings in my husband's squadron for a volunteer from the dependent ranks.  There were little hints, some talk, my husband brought it up a few times, nods were made.  Eventually I volunteered.  My common sense must have been broken.

In order to do this particular volunteer job I need a few things.  A special piece of paper, a few training classes, communication with certain people, and good, correct, information.

My first problem was meeting the person I need to work closely with.  I met him (twice).  We talked.  Then the next day I saw him again.  When my husband asked if we had been introduced this person said "no, we haven't met."  Grr.

My second problem was the person who promised me to get the piece of paper had to PCS out.  She did not leave information to anyone else who could get the paper.  Grr.

Now classes.  I was informed (the first day I volunteered) that the most important class I needed would be on October 7th.  I got a babysitter (actually I begged a babysitter to skip her other weekly job and come hang out with Emily).  I got the kid up extra early.  I got down to base.  I showed up early and prepared. The class had been rescheduled.  For October 5th.  No one was contacted about the change.  Grr.

Finally, I wrote to the person in charge and politely asked for information about when another class would be, how I could be informed of changes, what else I needed to do, etc.  There might have been a passing remark about me showing up on the wrong day because there was no communication, but it was really, really polite.

A week later I got an email stating that 1) This person needed the piece of paper not the person who has it (no information). 2) The class they told me to go to wasn't even the class I needed to go to. 3)  There were three other classes I also needed and I had to sign up for them at a completely different place (no information).  Grr.

Today I found out that those classes are 1) Actually not being offered on the day stated, or, you know, at all.  And you can't sign up for them at the place I was told to sign up for them.  Also, the person in charge is on vacation, but the receptionist was happy to send me to her line over and over without actually telling me that she wouldn't be answering it anytime soon.  Grr.


What I did not get in any of this was anyone saying "Hey, sorry you had the wrong information."  What I did not get was "Hey, sorry you had to get a babysitter when you didn't need to pay for one."  What I did not get was "Oh, I understand you might be frustrated, but here is what you really need to know."  What I didn't get was an email that was written in a polite and/or welcoming manner.  I got fussed at.  Treated like I was dumb.  And no apology of any kind.  I got a whole lot of nothing.  And a big babysitter bill.

Everything above is typical of my military-wife experiences with two different branches of service.  Almost all of it is completely understandable.  A volunteer isn't a priority, though it sure helps and looks good one someone's EPR.  The people involved meet hundreds of people a day, it is not easy to remember them all.  They read thousands of emails a week.  They write thousands of pieces of paper.  They have a hundred balls in the air and things need to be prioritized.  I am okay with all of that.  I totally understand that I'm the one that needs to be on top of it.  I understand that I need to call often to get updated information and be ready to move when a free moment is available.  I'm okay with my stuff not being important.

What I am not okay with is when someone else drops the ball, give bad info, or just forgets to be polite.  What I am not okay with is this lack of customer service happening in the service section of the military. The are called Services, they work in the Service Center, and everyone of them makes me feel as though I'm asking a huge favor to ask them to perform their specific service.

I know there is a huge fear of admitting that something was done improperly in the military-civilian world.  No one wants to admit fault, just in case it comes back at them.  Fine.  I don't expect anyone to say it was their fault.  I do expect them to acknowledge that while it wasn't their fault that I have been bounced from one place to another and given nothing but poor information, it must be pretty frustrating that it happened that way.  Because it has.  And I'm a person.  And I get frustrated.  Because I'm a person.

I'd like them to acknowledge that I am, you know, a person.  Just like them.  And they won't.  Ever.

Grr.

Sign

Yesterday evening I got an awesome package in the mail from Mommy used to be so pretty...  A little while ago I had "won" a giveaway from her.  Just finding out I had won an internet giveaway was awesome, actually finding the package in my mail was even better.  Made my day.

In the little package was a bottle of Soothage Soothing Gel and Prenatal Vitamins.

We are sorta, kinda, maybe, it'd-be-a-happy-thing-if-it-happened-but-I'm-not-sure-I'm-fully-ready-but-I-sorta-want-to-get-excited-about trying to conceive.  Kinda.  In a way.  A little bit.  So I'm kinda, in a way, hoping these prenatal vitamins coming now might be a sign.

Other People

I posted to someone else's blog that hell is other people.  I think I'm gonna amend that.  Hell is other people's kids.

Emily met her first bully this week.  At McDonald's Play Place.  She took it in stride, but I've talked about this all week and it still bothers me.  Emily, I'm sure, has already forgotten.

There were only a few children at the playground when we went and they were all toddlers.  Emily was probably the second youngest and the second smallest kid there.  The oldest boy there had to be about two, maybe slightly older.  His mother and her friend spent a good portion of the time calling out that he needed to calm down.  He did need too, but it wasn't that bad.

In the toddler area they had some soft toys that looked like turtles and ladybugs.  Emily loved these, but they were slightly bigger than she was ready for so she was taking her time inspecting how to climb up and ride them.  Once she figured it out and went to try the older boy came over, shoved her off, and jumped on.  This is where I'm proud of Emily - she just went onto the other.  Again, the older boy ran over, shoved her off, and jumped on.  They did this for a few rounds before Emily finally ran over to me with the most confused look on her face.  After some assurance Emily was off again.  And the same thing happened, over and over.  First with the turtles, then the slide, the steps, the little houses, the toys, everything.  The older boy even felt the need to shut the door to the toddler area and not let anyone in or out despite much pulling and screaming.  Emily never got to whining or crying, but the other children did.  The last straw was when Emily was playing in a house and the boy ran over, knocked her on the ground, then kicked - kicked - her by her stomach out of the house and onto the play mat.  Emily ran over (still not crying) and I scooped her up and whisked her away.  We left right after that.  Emily might not have been bothered, but Mommy was freaked.


The thing that really bothered me was the complete lack of reaction by this boy's mother.  Part of me wants to vent and holler that she didn't do anything.  The other part of me wants to not be a judgmental bitch and try to acknowledge that she was probably tired, has to take care of a very active (possibly overactive) child all the time, and maybe this wasn't really bad behavior for him.  Maybe she needed to pick her battles.  I only saw him for an hour I can't judge what was the best thing to do for him.


I can judge what was best for Emily though and that made me want to make a big deal of pushing and hitting and kicking.  I wanted to holler and tsk and be very upset so that Emily would get the idea that behavior like that is totally unacceptable.  Because in my little world it is.  But it wasn't my little world and it wasn't my little kid.  So I resorted to the typical Hawaii-style commentary and pointedly looked at his mother while I said to Emily "That boy plays too rough, what a meany-head."  She, in typical Hawaii-style, rolled her eyes.  Auwe!


The real bad part about this run in with a bully is that I'm totally worried Emily is going to emulate him.  Now, when she plays, I am always watching for some sign of bullishness that I need to nip in the bud quick.  Instead of seeing my sweet girl going to play with another kid in the totally unaware-of-personal-space way toddlers play I see her drop-kicking her new friend into the parking lot.  That sucks. It's not fair to Emily.  It's not fair she had to leave cause someone else was too aggressive and it's not fair that her mother is now certain she's gonna try these new play tactics soon.  She deserves the benefit of the doubt.  And a safe playground.  


And I blame all this on other people - and their kids! (And, okay, maybe some of my own neurosis.)

64th Air Force Ball

On Friday my husband and I attended the 64th Air Force Ball here in Hawaii.  It was the first time either of us had attended an actual Ball and I'm glad we got to do it together.

Highlights include:
Penguins!  This actually has nothing to do with the ball.  It was held at the Hilton Hawaiian Village in Waikiki.  My favorite thing about this hotel are the african penguins and turtles that live there.  Before the ball even started we took a walk down to see the birds nuzzle down for bedtime.  I love penguins.

Uniforms!  The evening was a tribute to heroes.  To highlight the history of the Air Force they dressed in period uniforms from WWI through to the conflicts of today.  Being a history and costume buff I was thrilled.  They did a wonderful job.

Dresses!  As I get more and more into clothes construction and fashion I find myself constantly looking and evaluating the clothes around me.  Needless to say the ball was a wonderful place to see al the pretty dresses.  Also...I got to wear a pretty dress.  Unfortunately, the pictures we took do not showcase the beading that was on the waist of my dress.  None of them show the beads!  Typical.

Food!  It was yummy.  We had prime rib.  I swear our table alone was a served a whole cow.  I ate two pieces of the chocolate ganache cake (thanks to my husband handing over most of his).

Company!  The people at our table were wonderful and I enjoyed talking with them.  I loved the conversation and the camaraderie.  But most of all I enjoyed the time with my husband.  It was special to just be on his arm all night.  The hardest part was not reaching over to kiss him all the time (no kissing in mess dress).  It was a pretty fabulous night.

Then we left during the dancing and snuggled up our little girl.  Good night.

Half-Day

Today was one of those strange days when the hint of my life before baby, house, marriage, and Oahu came sneaking back.

We took a trip to Haunama Bay today to go snorkeling.  It took a lot of packing and planning to figure out a day we could get down there.  We also managed to tempt our new babysitter (and new friend) to come out and get some snorkeling in as well as playing with Emily on the beach while D and I had sometime in the water alone.  That little hour where we swished through the water by ourselves, pointing out fish to each other, was a rare and wonderful time.

And then it happened.  In the middle of a throng on snorkeling tourists D swam up to me and wrapped his arm around my waist completely unbidden.  We treaded water there and shared an public, yet intimate, moment.  It was almost like when we were falling in love and stealing any moment to touch.  It was almost like before.

Then of course we returned to the shore and life.  I went back to the baby.  We played in the surf, took a walk along the wet sand.  D went out with friends for long treks through the reef.  Then home, a bath for the baby, a nap for Dad, a diaper change.

And it happened again.  I found myself lounging in my chair, legs perched over the armrest, falling into a book completely.  D and a friend were playing chess.  The sun was setting.  The house was quiet.  For a minute I was back to being the young, unmarried woman who could spend her days with a book and a cup of tea.  A woman who took the time to fall into and in love with a new story while her boyfriend spent time silently playing a game.

Then of course the baby whined for a hug and I drank my tea down quickly with her perched on my hip.

But for a few moments today who I was before managed to peek through.  I spent half a day as myself and half a day as my new self.

Project: Squid!

I've mentioned a few times that among my chores I've been making squid.  I was not talking about an awesome new calamari recipe - I was talking about these:

That is a blue squid with fins and a yellow squid without fins.  It's hard to tell in this picture, but they both have eyes made with a collection of gathered double-crochets.

A fellow yarn crafter started a Hyperbolic Crochet Coral Reef here in Hawaii.  I sadly had to miss out on being part of her show at Mark's Garage earlier this year, but I did get lucky enough to help out with the latest show happening tomorrow at Waikiki Aquarium's Family Night: Meet the Molluscs.  They/we are giving away crocheted squids for the event.  I got to make some squid.

They aren't hard to make, though I really admire the crafter for building her own pattern for them.  I made about eleven squid in various colors mostly using baby yarn because I had some lying around.

Now that I've been doing nothing but crocheting squid I am quite frankly sick of crochet.  I need my knitting needles.  I don't think I'll want to crochet for a long time.  But the squid are cute.  I hope the aquarium kids think they're fun.

Stranger and Stranger

Last week my husband and I switched cars so I could get his serviced while he was at work.  Everything went fine until the next day when I got my car back.  My tire pressure was low (or the little sign that says "hey your tire pressure is low" was on at least).  I didn't see anything really wrong with the tires or the car so I went on my way with the idea that I would put some air in later.

Okay, I lied.  I was going to make my husband put some air in later.  I just did all my errands and trips as normal.  I'm not proud.

When I got home the tire pressure still said low so I went around the car to check again, just in case.  Or I intended to except that the neighborhood landscapers were cutting the lawn and bushes.  That wouldn't stop me from check tires would it?  It would if the guy cutting the patch of grass outside our neighbors house hadn't pulled his pants down and started to pee on a tree.  I think he did anyway.  I only stuck around to see him pull down his pants After that Emily and I ran into the house and I forgot about the tires (and the groceries that were sitting in my trunk).

So there was a guy peeing on the tree which was strange.  Very strange.

Later that night when I finally got out to my driveway (to look for someone trying to find our house) I notice one of the back tires was flat.  Not just low.  Flat.  Really flat.

And that's strange.  But I guess not that much.

The next morning we got the car to the service center and they patched it up and it's all fine.  Except the thing that caused the flat:  A box cutter blade.  Seriously.

That's really strange.

We've been trying to figure out how my husband (who had the car) managed to get a box cutter blade stuck in the tire.  I thought he must have driven somewhere where there were, you know, box cutters.  He wonders if we weren't targeted because there are some parking wars going on where he works.  My car is easy to target because it is covered in pink hearts.  It's the only car on the island with pink hearts.  (There is another black car in Ewa that has pink flowers - that's not me.  I'm the one with the hearts.)  Most people know my car even if they don't know me.

It's strange my husband drove my car.  It's strange I saw someone peeing on a tree.  It's strange there was a box cutter in my tire.  And it's even stranger that all this happened and it's not till after a whole week and weekend that I finally realized that this isn't normal.

Nightlife after Baby

When Emily was about a two months old our neighborhood held a movie-in-the-park night for families.  I invited a bunch of other moms and their children to come out and see it with me.  I suggested we meet at 6:30pm on a Friday night so we could see the movie that started at 7:00pm.

It didn't go over well.  I was scolded for even suggesting something that started so late.  Apparently bedtime was 6:00pm for all of these children and I was a horrible mother for suggesting the outing and an even more terrible parent for taking my child out to something so late in the day.

I can understand that other children may need an extremely early bedtime.  Some of them need to go to school early, some need extra sleep because they no longer nap, so just are on the early bedtime schedule and it works for them.  At the time Emily was two months old and it didn't matter where I took her she was going to do one of two things:  nurse or sleep.  I figured I might as well watch a movie while she did.  Later, after the scolding, these mothers told me that I wouldn't be able to do anything after 6:00pm once Emily turned 3 months old.  I would HAVE to set the sleep routine early.  I would not be able to go out at 10:00am when it was time for her nap.  I would not be able to go out in the afternoon when it was time for another nap.  I would not be able to leave the house - ever.

At 11 months with a little mommy-confidence under my belt I can now say a big fat whatever.


On Friday night Historic Hawaii Theater showed the Oahu Premiere of Get A Job.  The show was filmed in Maui and starred a lot of people who I did theater with there.  I was not going to miss the premiere.  Unfortunately, my husband had an event of his own that he could not miss.  So Emily was my date for the night.


The show started at 7:30pm.  We were treated to a quick concert by the Barefoot Natives who were also the stars of the show.  Emily danced to each song and even sang along with Wille K.  (Thankfully we were in the back so no one heard her harmonizing.)  After the music and intermission they screened the full-length movie.  Emily loved it.  So did I.  It was funny and sweet and it was fun to watch. 


Later, we sat for the question and answer segment.  Then we got our poster signed by some of the movie stars.  Eric Gilliom even signed a CD for Emily.  What baby gets to go to a movie premiere at 11 months and hob-nob with the stars?  My baby that's who.  And all because I refuse to stay home.


Emily was fine the whole way through.  We sat in the back in case I needed to leave the theater (I am aware other people are trying to enjoy their night too) but we didn't have to.  Emily was enamored with the live music and the quirky comedy.  Half-way through she got tired and so she curled up on my lap and drifted off.  She woke up for the signing and we got home a little after midnight.  I had a wonderful time, Emily had a great time, and we didn't have any tantrums or problems.  


I just refuse, refuse, to miss these special events.  I love my daughter.  I want her to be happy, comfortable, and healthy.  I am more than willing to do whatever it takes to get there.  That being said I also want to be a health, comfortable, happy mama.  I can't imagine sequestering myself just because I have a baby.  I also can't imagine Emily missing out on all the wonderful parts of life just because she is a baby.  She'll let me know when she's tired, hungry, needs a break, or wants to go home.  When she does we'll do something about it.  Till then she can come live life with me.  

Beach Memories

This weekend we, as a family, had one of the best weekends ever.  The kind of weekend where the memories are so nice that you don't mind it ending because you can keep thinking about it.  And it makes you smile.

Saturday we spent time doing things we love.  I went to a workshop for a crochet project I've volunteered for.  A bunch of women, sitting in a yarn shop, making stuff with yarn.  That is what I call a perfect afternoon.  While I did that D took Emily down to Waikiki and they played chess with the random chess lovers that meet near the Duke Kahanamoku Statue.  To D that is a perfect afternoon.  Pretty perfect for Emily too because she adores hanging out with her Daddy.  After getting to spend the afternoon apart, stretching our individuality, we came back together to spend a nice, quiet, evening watching a movie and eating cheese.

Sunday was more time together.  We got out to church for the first time in a month and then rushed home to change so we could all go out and play at Ko Olina Beach Lagoons.  D had his first experience snorkeling.  Emily had her first experience swimming in the "deep" part of the ocean.  Up till this point she had only ever sat in the surf and fussed whenever a wave would come up too hard.  Sunday she loved everything and was quite the little dolphin.  Her cheeks must have been hurting from all the smiling she was doing.

We rounded out our weekend by taking a long drive down the leeward coast, past Makaha and all the way to Kaena Point.  Driving home we saw the sunset over the ocean.  A vision I saw everyday growing up in Maui, but something that is still magical.

It doesn't sound like much, but there was something rather alive about this weekend.  As if, finally, after all this work and planning and building we found the chance to live a day rather than get through a day.  Life has been busy for us here and at the same time pretty boring.  A house, a family, a wedding, school, work - it all starts to pile on the stress and depression.  Even when we were having fun and doing wonderful things there was an undercurrent of stress that kept enjoyment away.  Just going to the beach, the very picture of paradise, seemed like a lot of work and chores to me.  I'm not sure my husband felt the same way, but my attitude probably didn't help him relax.

But this weekend, this very simple weekend, gave me a chance to exhale.  As I swam out to the breakers and looked out at the ocean expanding ahead I finally felt that feeling only the ocean can give: the feeling of being weightless, small, yet significant because that ocean connects you to all parts of the world all at once.

I didn't take a single picture this weekend.  There is no keepsake from this weekend to remember it by save some extra sand.  But I know these past few days will be some of my favorite memories of our time living in Oahu and being a family of three.  I am so grateful that these are good memories - finally.

Train

Yesterday Emily and I went to Dole Plantation. For such a big tourist destination you'd think there would be lots to do there. There is - the stuff just isn't that fascinating. The "World's Largest Maze" is sorta boring and usually just hot and annoying. The garden isn't the most beautiful thing ever. The shop has stuff to buy, but it is just tourist stuff.

What is fun, though, is the train. The trip isn't great, usually you don't see any pineapple, the narration is terrible, but it's a train. A choo-choo train. I love, love, love trains. I remember seeing the coal-powered train come into the station at Cumberland, Maryland - I was 23 and I was jumping up and down and squealing in joy. Trains are just that cool.

Trains are the secret reason why I decided to have children. A 28 year old woman shouldn't be as excited about trains as I am. However, a 28 year old mother can get as excited as she wants if it's in the guise of entertaining a child. They can also do all the silly art and craft projects at fairs. They can ride the merry-go-round (well they can stand next to the kid riding the merry-go-round). They get to squeal and point at cute bunnies and fancy ponies. Mom's get to get excited because they are, we think, trying to get their little ones excited. You go ahead and think that, but honestly, I just love me some bunnies.

Thankfully, Emily is beginning to understand her poor mother and is now going along with the whole charade. She even went so far as to sing along with the horrible narration on the train yesterday. Which is either a very understanding child or a child who will someday be the overly excited 28 year old herself.

So, Emily comes with me on the train and allows me to jump up and down and yell "choo-choo" often and loudly.