Yesterday I was asked if I had any crazy cravings during this pregnancy. I wanted to give the funny story he was hoping to hear, but honestly I couldn't think of any cravings I had had yet.
I can think of some now.
I wanted pickles in the first trimester. We didn't have any in the house though, so after Christmas when I had come home from seeing my parents my husband had stocked up on pickles for me...I didn't really want them anymore.
A few weeks ago I wanted Oreos. I blame this on NPR which had a bunch of different shows run a story on how Nabisco had to find a new marketing strategy for Oreos in China. Now it's a big cookie over there. They talked about Oreos so much I wanted some for weeks, but held off because they aren't exactly the best snack. I finally got a package, finished it off in a few days, and now I'm over it.
Yesterday I wanted Halo Halo (a Filipino desert). The nice thing about living in Hawaii is that you can just get Halo Halo mix (dried fruits, beans, etc in syrup) at any supermarket. Not only is it that easy to get it I actually had some in my pantry. Even better. I also found a package of pudding mix (my Dad always made Halo Halo with pudding instead of condensed milk - I like it that way better). So, right then and there I craved a food and I could make that food. The jar of Halo Halo even said "easy open." Perfect.
It was not easy to open. I spent 20 minutes trying to whack that thing open enough to turn it. I finally gave up on the Halo Halo and had a peanut butter sandwich.
And here's the real problem with me having those typical crazy cravings and crazy times. With Emily we were in Korea where my husband had a curfew at night. It was an attempt to keep military members safe and out of trouble in a land of bars. So if I did wake up at midnight and crave, say, ice cream - I was out of luck. He couldn't go out and get me any. I couldn't really either because a woman walking around Songtan alone at night is not-a-good-thing.
Now that we're in Hawaii there is no curfew anymore. However, my husband works the wonkiest schedule ever. Sometimes three days on, sometimes five. Sometimes in the day, sometimes in the afternoon, sometimes at night. During the week. During the weekend. Sometimes he has to go in for 8 hours, sometimes it's 12 - usually it ends up 20. So it sucks. Bad. I never know when he'll actually be home and I never know when he's home if he'll be awake. And a wonky schedule with a tired husband and a crazy toddler means that half of my house is often off-limits just so he can get a little shut-eye.
So during my Halo Halo attempt he was actually home. He could have helped me open the jar. In a normal family he could have driven down the street and actually bought some real Halo Halo. But he was sleeping because he had been out at 5am to 1pm and was gearing up for work starting at 8pm. Incidentally, I'm writing this at 7am the next day and he's not home yet.
The thing I'm taking away from all this is it's exceptionally inconvenient to be pregnant when you're in the military, but if you are going to be pregnant - don't be typically pregnant.
I don't crave pickles and ice cream: I crave my husband.
Showing posts with label Hawaii. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hawaii. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Yarn Along 6
~ Two of my favorite things are knitting and reading, and the evidence of this often shows up in my photographs. I love seeing what other people are knitting and reading as well. So, what are you knitting or crocheting right now? What are you reading? Take a photo and share it either on your blog or on Flickr. Leave a link below to share your photo with the rest of us! ~
I've been busy fighting off the depression monster. My main weapon of choice has been crafting. I've been bouncing between tons of projects:
"Dragonwyck" is the novel I'm knitting along too. It's been raining like crazy here in Hawaii so a dark, gothic novel full of silly young women and brooding men seemed the ticket. But so far it is far less depressing than "Wuthering Heights" and that's helpful.
That's all. Brooding novels and blue giggle yarn. Take that depression!
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Spread it around
On New Year's Eve I took Emily to the Hawaii Children's Discovery Center for their "Countdown to Noon" Balloon Drop. We had a great time playing there, we always do. The Balloon Drop was less than exciting, mostly because I had to pull Emily out from the big drop because parents kept stepping on her. Let me repeat that: Parents kept pushing her around and stepping on her. The kids were very careful around all the smaller babies.
I try to take Emily to the Discovery Center often. It's fun and she can touch and play with whatever she wants. However, I do try to avoid it when it's super busy because things can get a little rowdy. The exceptions are holidays like Halloween and New Year's. Also, every time we've gone to the Center when it was full Emily and I have both caught some awful cold. We get away germ free when it's not full.
So of course since I took her when it was packed we are now both fighting a particularly icky cold. This not only means we both feel terrible, we don't get to go do anything. We don't get to do anything because when my kid is a mess of germ infested snot I try to keep her away from kids who are not covered in germ infested snot. Call me crazy, but I just think it's good manners.
Of course now that I am sick, hot, tired, and really, really, crabby I have this great desire to find the parents who took their sick kid to the Discovery Center at New Years and pass this little snot-bug back to them. In my most vindictive I fantasize that it has already mutated and those parents will be blessed with at least a whole week of grouchy, unhappy kids and a hacking cough that keeps them out of school and bored with daytime television. Ha-ha-ha--achoo.
But I won't. Because I don't want to get people sick. Well not the nice people anyway.
I try to take Emily to the Discovery Center often. It's fun and she can touch and play with whatever she wants. However, I do try to avoid it when it's super busy because things can get a little rowdy. The exceptions are holidays like Halloween and New Year's. Also, every time we've gone to the Center when it was full Emily and I have both caught some awful cold. We get away germ free when it's not full.
So of course since I took her when it was packed we are now both fighting a particularly icky cold. This not only means we both feel terrible, we don't get to go do anything. We don't get to do anything because when my kid is a mess of germ infested snot I try to keep her away from kids who are not covered in germ infested snot. Call me crazy, but I just think it's good manners.
Of course now that I am sick, hot, tired, and really, really, crabby I have this great desire to find the parents who took their sick kid to the Discovery Center at New Years and pass this little snot-bug back to them. In my most vindictive I fantasize that it has already mutated and those parents will be blessed with at least a whole week of grouchy, unhappy kids and a hacking cough that keeps them out of school and bored with daytime television. Ha-ha-ha--achoo.
But I won't. Because I don't want to get people sick. Well not the nice people anyway.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Lonely
For Christmas Emily and I flew over to Maui to spend time with my parents. I had a wonderful time being back home and we did great things like visiting my favorite goat farm, walking along the beach, eating amazing food, shopping. However, the best part of the trip was the company.
It seems strange that in a job like motherhood-at-home where you are literally never apart from your child you could feel so lonely. In the past 16 months there have been very few times when I've actually been alone. Maybe a quick trip to the store here and there, or a short nap. When I'm lucky I get to shower alone. Lately, I've even been able to close the door for a moment while I go to the bathroom and boy is that a luxury! But despite being in constant company of my most favorite person in the whole world I am pretty lonely.
In Maui, when Emily and I got out of bed, my parents were there to share breakfast with and generally chat. For Christmas, after the hustle of present opening, we spent the day simply napping and resting together. Not a lot of talk or purpose. Just being together with my mom and my baby, enjoying Hawaii.
After I got home I went back to routine. Emily and I snuck out of bed, careful not to wake up D since he is on a different sleep/work schedule than Emily. We spent the morning playing and having a leisurely breakfast. D got up later and played with us. Then we went to bed early and D joined us later. It was a special day since D didn't have to go to work, on work days he gets up either later than us or much earlier and we either wake up without him or see him off right before we're planning the afternoon nap. All times between this are me and Emily hanging out. Sometimes we have playdates or excursions. I have clubs and meetings I drag her along too. However, primarily it's just us girls and for some reason I feel super lonely at these times.
It's not because Emily can't talk yet. She babbles, but I don't really need the conversation. I didn't have a lot of it with my mom. What I think I need is more quiet company of people who understand me. Often I hear young girls and mothers say that it's great to have a person who will love them no matter what. I don't get that with Emily. She loves me, that's clear. I love her too - no matter what. But when we spend time together I don't feel she knows me and thinks I'm grand because I am who I am. She thinks I'm grand because I take care of her, feed her, clean her, hug her, work hard to make sure she's comfortable and happy. She also thinks I'm a pain the neck because I do all these things. I'm there for her and that's the way it should be, but it sure is a lonely job.
I fluctuate between desperately needing space - a time to be an adult without Emily or D expecting me to be Mom and Wife to needing no space at all and needing lots of people around me. It's like being on my own island. Water everywhere, not a drop to drink.
It seems strange that in a job like motherhood-at-home where you are literally never apart from your child you could feel so lonely. In the past 16 months there have been very few times when I've actually been alone. Maybe a quick trip to the store here and there, or a short nap. When I'm lucky I get to shower alone. Lately, I've even been able to close the door for a moment while I go to the bathroom and boy is that a luxury! But despite being in constant company of my most favorite person in the whole world I am pretty lonely.
In Maui, when Emily and I got out of bed, my parents were there to share breakfast with and generally chat. For Christmas, after the hustle of present opening, we spent the day simply napping and resting together. Not a lot of talk or purpose. Just being together with my mom and my baby, enjoying Hawaii.
After I got home I went back to routine. Emily and I snuck out of bed, careful not to wake up D since he is on a different sleep/work schedule than Emily. We spent the morning playing and having a leisurely breakfast. D got up later and played with us. Then we went to bed early and D joined us later. It was a special day since D didn't have to go to work, on work days he gets up either later than us or much earlier and we either wake up without him or see him off right before we're planning the afternoon nap. All times between this are me and Emily hanging out. Sometimes we have playdates or excursions. I have clubs and meetings I drag her along too. However, primarily it's just us girls and for some reason I feel super lonely at these times.
It's not because Emily can't talk yet. She babbles, but I don't really need the conversation. I didn't have a lot of it with my mom. What I think I need is more quiet company of people who understand me. Often I hear young girls and mothers say that it's great to have a person who will love them no matter what. I don't get that with Emily. She loves me, that's clear. I love her too - no matter what. But when we spend time together I don't feel she knows me and thinks I'm grand because I am who I am. She thinks I'm grand because I take care of her, feed her, clean her, hug her, work hard to make sure she's comfortable and happy. She also thinks I'm a pain the neck because I do all these things. I'm there for her and that's the way it should be, but it sure is a lonely job.
I fluctuate between desperately needing space - a time to be an adult without Emily or D expecting me to be Mom and Wife to needing no space at all and needing lots of people around me. It's like being on my own island. Water everywhere, not a drop to drink.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Christmas in Hawaii
Today one of my friends in Chicago posted a picture of the highway covered in snow and claimed "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas." From what I heard it was beginning to look like Christmas in October on the East Coast.
Hawaii gets a lot of scoffing because we don't have "seasons." This is untrue. We have lots of season. We have the hot season, the mango season, the whale season, the rainy season, kiawe season, hurricane season...we have tons of seasons.
Back when I lived on Maui winter came with snow too. At the top of the mountain. The very top of Haleakala. It is always cold up there (no really, bring a coat!), but during winter it will get snowy and icy. I lived on Maui back when keeping people alive was not a priority so they let us Mauians drive up there when it snowed. That would be a ton of people who have never seen ice in anything but a drink driving up a steep, should-be-one-lane, switch back road that ends in an abrupt drop some 10,000 feet long. I would make some snowballs and we'd take them back down to Kahului and watch them melt.
Oahu doesn't have natural snow like Maui does. Instead Pearl Highlands Center trucked in an advertised 40 tons of snow and dumped it in the parking lot in front of the movie theater. I wasn't sure what 40 tons of snow looked like, but I thought it would make more than two little piles. We tried to play in it, but it was mostly just a slippery mound of ice and Emily was totally freaked out by the kids running to the top then sliding down just as quickly. She patted a snowball for awhile and then we left. That was Emily's first taste of snow. She wore shorts, a t-shirt, and her sandals.
Other holiday highlights in Hawaii include the arrival of Santa Claus - by canoe at the Outrigger Waikiki. Here Santa often wears an aloha shirt and board shorts. And slippahs. I actually think this is a cop out and I prefer the Santa's who tough out the heat and wear the full coat. Last year Pearlridge Santa wore the fuzzy pants but opted for shirt sleeves and suspenders. And no hat. Lame.
In Hawaii not all of us decorate palm trees. Some of us do. Some opt for the tropical Cook Pine. I got a Noble Fir. On Maui there is a tree farm in Kula where you need to wear a sweater and can pick out your own tree. On Oahu we got ours at Don Quixote. I wonder if the Don Quixote's in Japan also sell trees?
My biggest problem with Christmas in Hawaii is finding pajamas for Emily. If they are in her size they are not very cute and/or they are covered in branded characters. I have no problem with Emily liking characters and will indulge her when she decides what she loves, but I don't want to force it till she does. Also, if I do find pajamas that are cute and fit her they are incredibly too warm for Ewa Beach. No footies, no long sleeves, no fleece - please. A cute set of santa-like swim suits would be just fine. But no one makes those.
The best part of Christmas this year has been our garden. D finally found sometime to really put it together and we've been working outside to plant and make things look nice out there. That's right. It's mid-December and we've been working in the garden. In shorts.
Mele Kalikimaka.
Hawaii gets a lot of scoffing because we don't have "seasons." This is untrue. We have lots of season. We have the hot season, the mango season, the whale season, the rainy season, kiawe season, hurricane season...we have tons of seasons.
Back when I lived on Maui winter came with snow too. At the top of the mountain. The very top of Haleakala. It is always cold up there (no really, bring a coat!), but during winter it will get snowy and icy. I lived on Maui back when keeping people alive was not a priority so they let us Mauians drive up there when it snowed. That would be a ton of people who have never seen ice in anything but a drink driving up a steep, should-be-one-lane, switch back road that ends in an abrupt drop some 10,000 feet long. I would make some snowballs and we'd take them back down to Kahului and watch them melt.
Oahu doesn't have natural snow like Maui does. Instead Pearl Highlands Center trucked in an advertised 40 tons of snow and dumped it in the parking lot in front of the movie theater. I wasn't sure what 40 tons of snow looked like, but I thought it would make more than two little piles. We tried to play in it, but it was mostly just a slippery mound of ice and Emily was totally freaked out by the kids running to the top then sliding down just as quickly. She patted a snowball for awhile and then we left. That was Emily's first taste of snow. She wore shorts, a t-shirt, and her sandals.
Other holiday highlights in Hawaii include the arrival of Santa Claus - by canoe at the Outrigger Waikiki. Here Santa often wears an aloha shirt and board shorts. And slippahs. I actually think this is a cop out and I prefer the Santa's who tough out the heat and wear the full coat. Last year Pearlridge Santa wore the fuzzy pants but opted for shirt sleeves and suspenders. And no hat. Lame.
In Hawaii not all of us decorate palm trees. Some of us do. Some opt for the tropical Cook Pine. I got a Noble Fir. On Maui there is a tree farm in Kula where you need to wear a sweater and can pick out your own tree. On Oahu we got ours at Don Quixote. I wonder if the Don Quixote's in Japan also sell trees?
My biggest problem with Christmas in Hawaii is finding pajamas for Emily. If they are in her size they are not very cute and/or they are covered in branded characters. I have no problem with Emily liking characters and will indulge her when she decides what she loves, but I don't want to force it till she does. Also, if I do find pajamas that are cute and fit her they are incredibly too warm for Ewa Beach. No footies, no long sleeves, no fleece - please. A cute set of santa-like swim suits would be just fine. But no one makes those.
The best part of Christmas this year has been our garden. D finally found sometime to really put it together and we've been working outside to plant and make things look nice out there. That's right. It's mid-December and we've been working in the garden. In shorts.
Mele Kalikimaka.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
West Loch Park
Last year, around this time, I started trying to take Emily out on long walks. I'd put her in my sling or snuggle her down into the stroller and head out around the neighborhood. Before moving to Ewa Beach I took a lot of walks. I love walking. Doing it with a baby just seemed the next step.
Except I never got far. Ewa is hot. Even in winter Ewa is hot. Really hot. And there is a lack of trees. I'd go about 20 minutes and then have to sit and cool off before heading back home. It wasn't fun. And I got sunburned, even with sunscreen. (Thankfully, Emily did not.)
So I tried West Loch Shoreline Park. It was a drive down the road, but it's a pretty park and right on the water looking across to Pearl Harbor. It's cool, green, has trees, and there are tons of mongoose running around. I would drive in, park, and then...I'd sit.
Part of the reason why I'd sit was because Emily would fall asleep in the car and it was nice not to have to hold her while she rested. The other reason was because I was just too tired and, honestly, in too much pain. It was left over pregnancy exhausting me. And recovery from surgery. And nursing. And nursing. And nursing. Three months after having Emily I was still overly tired and overly hurt. It didn't seem fair, more because I didn't realize it was all this pregnancy and baby stuff exhausting me. I thought it was me. Just me being lazy, or dumb, or just a plain, 'ole failure. I stopped going to West Loch Park, it was just too hard.
The other week Emily was in the mood to run so I did a quick turn to that same park. We climbed out and she took off up the hill. I, surprisingly, took off after her. We ran around that entire park and halfway through Emily finally wore herself out. Walking back I carried my 35 lbs. baby up and down the hills and was shocked at how easy it all was. I felt good. Well exercised, strong, and full of energy.
Of course now that I'm building a new person I'm finding myself exhausted again. But it is still amazing how much better I feel after a year. How much better it is to realize that I am still the person I was before baby, just with better defined biceps and darker eye circles. I hope this pregnancy I can remember that it's not me, just my body.
Except I never got far. Ewa is hot. Even in winter Ewa is hot. Really hot. And there is a lack of trees. I'd go about 20 minutes and then have to sit and cool off before heading back home. It wasn't fun. And I got sunburned, even with sunscreen. (Thankfully, Emily did not.)
So I tried West Loch Shoreline Park. It was a drive down the road, but it's a pretty park and right on the water looking across to Pearl Harbor. It's cool, green, has trees, and there are tons of mongoose running around. I would drive in, park, and then...I'd sit.
Part of the reason why I'd sit was because Emily would fall asleep in the car and it was nice not to have to hold her while she rested. The other reason was because I was just too tired and, honestly, in too much pain. It was left over pregnancy exhausting me. And recovery from surgery. And nursing. And nursing. And nursing. Three months after having Emily I was still overly tired and overly hurt. It didn't seem fair, more because I didn't realize it was all this pregnancy and baby stuff exhausting me. I thought it was me. Just me being lazy, or dumb, or just a plain, 'ole failure. I stopped going to West Loch Park, it was just too hard.
The other week Emily was in the mood to run so I did a quick turn to that same park. We climbed out and she took off up the hill. I, surprisingly, took off after her. We ran around that entire park and halfway through Emily finally wore herself out. Walking back I carried my 35 lbs. baby up and down the hills and was shocked at how easy it all was. I felt good. Well exercised, strong, and full of energy.
Of course now that I'm building a new person I'm finding myself exhausted again. But it is still amazing how much better I feel after a year. How much better it is to realize that I am still the person I was before baby, just with better defined biceps and darker eye circles. I hope this pregnancy I can remember that it's not me, just my body.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
No place like home
I am a transplant in my own home. I grew up in Hawaii, but I grew up on Maui. I now, after bouncing around, live on Oahu. People come up to me and ask me where I'm from and are surprised when I say "Here." But then I have to qualify because while I'm from Hawaii Oahu and Maui are two very different places and you can give me directions based on certain people's houses on my island but on Oahu I need street names (also, I use a GPS...Auwe!).
My being a stranger in a really familiar land gives me an interesting perspective. I get treated like a visitor and then, in the same breath, a local. I will speak pidgin at Foodland and midwestern at the Commissary (it helps!) I can see all the hardships of being a mainlander in Hawaii. I get how it can be totally frustrating, but I also see all the things that make home home. Just like in any unique culture there are good and bad. If you grew up with it the bad is a small price to pay for the feeling of belonging. If you are new here it takes a lot of patience to see the beauty in our calabash land.
I might take some work too. Which is why when people talk about my hometown of Maui and only complain about how it's just resorts and boringness it drives me crazy. I feel like Oahu is just city and hotels myself, but I get out to see the beauty of the island anyway. A rainbow everyday? Yes please. Driving through the Ko'olau's? Ahhhh.
Maui has the same things and some others. Pine forests, hunting, snow. Rainforests, hundreds of waterfalls in one stretch of road, black sand beaches. All there. Like warm. There is a desert! Like fish, more snorkeling beaches AND a protected atoll (Molokini) only about an hour boat ride away. You can seriously go from arctic wear to beach wear in just half a day of biking.
In short, I feel like if you don't like Maui you're doing it wrong. Give me three days. It's my home and, trust me, there is something to love.
Similarly, Oahu isn't that bad either. Wait till 9am when the traffic clears up and, trust me, there is something to love. I'm glad it's my transplant home.
My being a stranger in a really familiar land gives me an interesting perspective. I get treated like a visitor and then, in the same breath, a local. I will speak pidgin at Foodland and midwestern at the Commissary (it helps!) I can see all the hardships of being a mainlander in Hawaii. I get how it can be totally frustrating, but I also see all the things that make home home. Just like in any unique culture there are good and bad. If you grew up with it the bad is a small price to pay for the feeling of belonging. If you are new here it takes a lot of patience to see the beauty in our calabash land.
I might take some work too. Which is why when people talk about my hometown of Maui and only complain about how it's just resorts and boringness it drives me crazy. I feel like Oahu is just city and hotels myself, but I get out to see the beauty of the island anyway. A rainbow everyday? Yes please. Driving through the Ko'olau's? Ahhhh.
Maui has the same things and some others. Pine forests, hunting, snow. Rainforests, hundreds of waterfalls in one stretch of road, black sand beaches. All there. Like warm. There is a desert! Like fish, more snorkeling beaches AND a protected atoll (Molokini) only about an hour boat ride away. You can seriously go from arctic wear to beach wear in just half a day of biking.
In short, I feel like if you don't like Maui you're doing it wrong. Give me three days. It's my home and, trust me, there is something to love.
Similarly, Oahu isn't that bad either. Wait till 9am when the traffic clears up and, trust me, there is something to love. I'm glad it's my transplant home.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Boo!
So the other weekend while D was napping and Emily and I were running out of fun things to do. I collected a bunch of stuff and made myself a scarecrow.
He is wearing my father's gardening pants (that were hanging in the guest room), my snuggly flannel jacket, a kerchief, and my father's gardening gloves (that I found hiding in the pockets of his pants). I stuffed him with plastic shopping bags and his shoulders are made from a palm frond with the leaves stripped off. I think the effect is a little ruined by the fact he's sitting in front of a bunch of palm trees, ti plants, and there are two pink hibiscus trees behind him. No colored leaves or spooky trees in Hawaii. However, D managed to convince the little boys next door that this guy was real and if they came too close he'd jump up and grab them.
Since this picture I've given him some pumpkins to hang on to and I want to add some lights and my other decorations in the front windows. 12 days left till Halloween and that's as far as I've gotten.
Boo.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Military...Grr
Awhile ago there were some rumblings in my husband's squadron for a volunteer from the dependent ranks. There were little hints, some talk, my husband brought it up a few times, nods were made. Eventually I volunteered. My common sense must have been broken.
In order to do this particular volunteer job I need a few things. A special piece of paper, a few training classes, communication with certain people, and good, correct, information.
My first problem was meeting the person I need to work closely with. I met him (twice). We talked. Then the next day I saw him again. When my husband asked if we had been introduced this person said "no, we haven't met." Grr.
My second problem was the person who promised me to get the piece of paper had to PCS out. She did not leave information to anyone else who could get the paper. Grr.
Now classes. I was informed (the first day I volunteered) that the most important class I needed would be on October 7th. I got a babysitter (actually I begged a babysitter to skip her other weekly job and come hang out with Emily). I got the kid up extra early. I got down to base. I showed up early and prepared. The class had been rescheduled. For October 5th. No one was contacted about the change. Grr.
Finally, I wrote to the person in charge and politely asked for information about when another class would be, how I could be informed of changes, what else I needed to do, etc. There might have been a passing remark about me showing up on the wrong day because there was no communication, but it was really, really polite.
A week later I got an email stating that 1) This person needed the piece of paper not the person who has it (no information). 2) The class they told me to go to wasn't even the class I needed to go to. 3) There were three other classes I also needed and I had to sign up for them at a completely different place (no information). Grr.
Today I found out that those classes are 1) Actually not being offered on the day stated, or, you know, at all. And you can't sign up for them at the place I was told to sign up for them. Also, the person in charge is on vacation, but the receptionist was happy to send me to her line over and over without actually telling me that she wouldn't be answering it anytime soon. Grr.
What I did not get in any of this was anyone saying "Hey, sorry you had the wrong information." What I did not get was "Hey, sorry you had to get a babysitter when you didn't need to pay for one." What I did not get was "Oh, I understand you might be frustrated, but here is what you really need to know." What I didn't get was an email that was written in a polite and/or welcoming manner. I got fussed at. Treated like I was dumb. And no apology of any kind. I got a whole lot of nothing. And a big babysitter bill.
Everything above is typical of my military-wife experiences with two different branches of service. Almost all of it is completely understandable. A volunteer isn't a priority, though it sure helps and looks good one someone's EPR. The people involved meet hundreds of people a day, it is not easy to remember them all. They read thousands of emails a week. They write thousands of pieces of paper. They have a hundred balls in the air and things need to be prioritized. I am okay with all of that. I totally understand that I'm the one that needs to be on top of it. I understand that I need to call often to get updated information and be ready to move when a free moment is available. I'm okay with my stuff not being important.
What I am not okay with is when someone else drops the ball, give bad info, or just forgets to be polite. What I am not okay with is this lack of customer service happening in the service section of the military. The are called Services, they work in the Service Center, and everyone of them makes me feel as though I'm asking a huge favor to ask them to perform their specific service.
I know there is a huge fear of admitting that something was done improperly in the military-civilian world. No one wants to admit fault, just in case it comes back at them. Fine. I don't expect anyone to say it was their fault. I do expect them to acknowledge that while it wasn't their fault that I have been bounced from one place to another and given nothing but poor information, it must be pretty frustrating that it happened that way. Because it has. And I'm a person. And I get frustrated. Because I'm a person.
I'd like them to acknowledge that I am, you know, a person. Just like them. And they won't. Ever.
Grr.
In order to do this particular volunteer job I need a few things. A special piece of paper, a few training classes, communication with certain people, and good, correct, information.
My first problem was meeting the person I need to work closely with. I met him (twice). We talked. Then the next day I saw him again. When my husband asked if we had been introduced this person said "no, we haven't met." Grr.
My second problem was the person who promised me to get the piece of paper had to PCS out. She did not leave information to anyone else who could get the paper. Grr.
Now classes. I was informed (the first day I volunteered) that the most important class I needed would be on October 7th. I got a babysitter (actually I begged a babysitter to skip her other weekly job and come hang out with Emily). I got the kid up extra early. I got down to base. I showed up early and prepared. The class had been rescheduled. For October 5th. No one was contacted about the change. Grr.
Finally, I wrote to the person in charge and politely asked for information about when another class would be, how I could be informed of changes, what else I needed to do, etc. There might have been a passing remark about me showing up on the wrong day because there was no communication, but it was really, really polite.
A week later I got an email stating that 1) This person needed the piece of paper not the person who has it (no information). 2) The class they told me to go to wasn't even the class I needed to go to. 3) There were three other classes I also needed and I had to sign up for them at a completely different place (no information). Grr.
Today I found out that those classes are 1) Actually not being offered on the day stated, or, you know, at all. And you can't sign up for them at the place I was told to sign up for them. Also, the person in charge is on vacation, but the receptionist was happy to send me to her line over and over without actually telling me that she wouldn't be answering it anytime soon. Grr.
What I did not get in any of this was anyone saying "Hey, sorry you had the wrong information." What I did not get was "Hey, sorry you had to get a babysitter when you didn't need to pay for one." What I did not get was "Oh, I understand you might be frustrated, but here is what you really need to know." What I didn't get was an email that was written in a polite and/or welcoming manner. I got fussed at. Treated like I was dumb. And no apology of any kind. I got a whole lot of nothing. And a big babysitter bill.
Everything above is typical of my military-wife experiences with two different branches of service. Almost all of it is completely understandable. A volunteer isn't a priority, though it sure helps and looks good one someone's EPR. The people involved meet hundreds of people a day, it is not easy to remember them all. They read thousands of emails a week. They write thousands of pieces of paper. They have a hundred balls in the air and things need to be prioritized. I am okay with all of that. I totally understand that I'm the one that needs to be on top of it. I understand that I need to call often to get updated information and be ready to move when a free moment is available. I'm okay with my stuff not being important.
What I am not okay with is when someone else drops the ball, give bad info, or just forgets to be polite. What I am not okay with is this lack of customer service happening in the service section of the military. The are called Services, they work in the Service Center, and everyone of them makes me feel as though I'm asking a huge favor to ask them to perform their specific service.
I know there is a huge fear of admitting that something was done improperly in the military-civilian world. No one wants to admit fault, just in case it comes back at them. Fine. I don't expect anyone to say it was their fault. I do expect them to acknowledge that while it wasn't their fault that I have been bounced from one place to another and given nothing but poor information, it must be pretty frustrating that it happened that way. Because it has. And I'm a person. And I get frustrated. Because I'm a person.
I'd like them to acknowledge that I am, you know, a person. Just like them. And they won't. Ever.
Grr.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Other People
I posted to someone else's blog that hell is other people. I think I'm gonna amend that. Hell is other people's kids.
Emily met her first bully this week. At McDonald's Play Place. She took it in stride, but I've talked about this all week and it still bothers me. Emily, I'm sure, has already forgotten.
There were only a few children at the playground when we went and they were all toddlers. Emily was probably the second youngest and the second smallest kid there. The oldest boy there had to be about two, maybe slightly older. His mother and her friend spent a good portion of the time calling out that he needed to calm down. He did need too, but it wasn't that bad.
In the toddler area they had some soft toys that looked like turtles and ladybugs. Emily loved these, but they were slightly bigger than she was ready for so she was taking her time inspecting how to climb up and ride them. Once she figured it out and went to try the older boy came over, shoved her off, and jumped on. This is where I'm proud of Emily - she just went onto the other. Again, the older boy ran over, shoved her off, and jumped on. They did this for a few rounds before Emily finally ran over to me with the most confused look on her face. After some assurance Emily was off again. And the same thing happened, over and over. First with the turtles, then the slide, the steps, the little houses, the toys, everything. The older boy even felt the need to shut the door to the toddler area and not let anyone in or out despite much pulling and screaming. Emily never got to whining or crying, but the other children did. The last straw was when Emily was playing in a house and the boy ran over, knocked her on the ground, then kicked - kicked - her by her stomach out of the house and onto the play mat. Emily ran over (still not crying) and I scooped her up and whisked her away. We left right after that. Emily might not have been bothered, but Mommy was freaked.
The thing that really bothered me was the complete lack of reaction by this boy's mother. Part of me wants to vent and holler that she didn't do anything. The other part of me wants to not be a judgmental bitch and try to acknowledge that she was probably tired, has to take care of a very active (possibly overactive) child all the time, and maybe this wasn't really bad behavior for him. Maybe she needed to pick her battles. I only saw him for an hour I can't judge what was the best thing to do for him.
I can judge what was best for Emily though and that made me want to make a big deal of pushing and hitting and kicking. I wanted to holler and tsk and be very upset so that Emily would get the idea that behavior like that is totally unacceptable. Because in my little world it is. But it wasn't my little world and it wasn't my little kid. So I resorted to the typical Hawaii-style commentary and pointedly looked at his mother while I said to Emily "That boy plays too rough, what a meany-head." She, in typical Hawaii-style, rolled her eyes. Auwe!
The real bad part about this run in with a bully is that I'm totally worried Emily is going to emulate him. Now, when she plays, I am always watching for some sign of bullishness that I need to nip in the bud quick. Instead of seeing my sweet girl going to play with another kid in the totally unaware-of-personal-space way toddlers play I see her drop-kicking her new friend into the parking lot. That sucks. It's not fair to Emily. It's not fair she had to leave cause someone else was too aggressive and it's not fair that her mother is now certain she's gonna try these new play tactics soon. She deserves the benefit of the doubt. And a safe playground.
And I blame all this on other people - and their kids! (And, okay, maybe some of my own neurosis.)
Emily met her first bully this week. At McDonald's Play Place. She took it in stride, but I've talked about this all week and it still bothers me. Emily, I'm sure, has already forgotten.
There were only a few children at the playground when we went and they were all toddlers. Emily was probably the second youngest and the second smallest kid there. The oldest boy there had to be about two, maybe slightly older. His mother and her friend spent a good portion of the time calling out that he needed to calm down. He did need too, but it wasn't that bad.
In the toddler area they had some soft toys that looked like turtles and ladybugs. Emily loved these, but they were slightly bigger than she was ready for so she was taking her time inspecting how to climb up and ride them. Once she figured it out and went to try the older boy came over, shoved her off, and jumped on. This is where I'm proud of Emily - she just went onto the other. Again, the older boy ran over, shoved her off, and jumped on. They did this for a few rounds before Emily finally ran over to me with the most confused look on her face. After some assurance Emily was off again. And the same thing happened, over and over. First with the turtles, then the slide, the steps, the little houses, the toys, everything. The older boy even felt the need to shut the door to the toddler area and not let anyone in or out despite much pulling and screaming. Emily never got to whining or crying, but the other children did. The last straw was when Emily was playing in a house and the boy ran over, knocked her on the ground, then kicked - kicked - her by her stomach out of the house and onto the play mat. Emily ran over (still not crying) and I scooped her up and whisked her away. We left right after that. Emily might not have been bothered, but Mommy was freaked.
The thing that really bothered me was the complete lack of reaction by this boy's mother. Part of me wants to vent and holler that she didn't do anything. The other part of me wants to not be a judgmental bitch and try to acknowledge that she was probably tired, has to take care of a very active (possibly overactive) child all the time, and maybe this wasn't really bad behavior for him. Maybe she needed to pick her battles. I only saw him for an hour I can't judge what was the best thing to do for him.
I can judge what was best for Emily though and that made me want to make a big deal of pushing and hitting and kicking. I wanted to holler and tsk and be very upset so that Emily would get the idea that behavior like that is totally unacceptable. Because in my little world it is. But it wasn't my little world and it wasn't my little kid. So I resorted to the typical Hawaii-style commentary and pointedly looked at his mother while I said to Emily "That boy plays too rough, what a meany-head." She, in typical Hawaii-style, rolled her eyes. Auwe!
The real bad part about this run in with a bully is that I'm totally worried Emily is going to emulate him. Now, when she plays, I am always watching for some sign of bullishness that I need to nip in the bud quick. Instead of seeing my sweet girl going to play with another kid in the totally unaware-of-personal-space way toddlers play I see her drop-kicking her new friend into the parking lot. That sucks. It's not fair to Emily. It's not fair she had to leave cause someone else was too aggressive and it's not fair that her mother is now certain she's gonna try these new play tactics soon. She deserves the benefit of the doubt. And a safe playground.
And I blame all this on other people - and their kids! (And, okay, maybe some of my own neurosis.)
Monday, September 19, 2011
64th Air Force Ball
Highlights include:
Penguins! This actually has nothing to do with the ball. It was held at the Hilton Hawaiian Village in Waikiki. My favorite thing about this hotel are the african penguins and turtles that live there. Before the ball even started we took a walk down to see the birds nuzzle down for bedtime. I love penguins.
Uniforms! The evening was a tribute to heroes. To highlight the history of the Air Force they dressed in period uniforms from WWI through to the conflicts of today. Being a history and costume buff I was thrilled. They did a wonderful job.
Dresses! As I get more and more into clothes construction and fashion I find myself constantly looking and evaluating the clothes around me. Needless to say the ball was a wonderful place to see al the pretty dresses. Also...I got to wear a pretty dress. Unfortunately, the pictures we took do not showcase the beading that was on the waist of my dress. None of them show the beads! Typical.
Food! It was yummy. We had prime rib. I swear our table alone was a served a whole cow. I ate two pieces of the chocolate ganache cake (thanks to my husband handing over most of his).
Company! The people at our table were wonderful and I enjoyed talking with them. I loved the conversation and the camaraderie. But most of all I enjoyed the time with my husband. It was special to just be on his arm all night. The hardest part was not reaching over to kiss him all the time (no kissing in mess dress). It was a pretty fabulous night.
Then we left during the dancing and snuggled up our little girl. Good night.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Now we are one
Emily turned One a few days ago. To celebrate my parents flew over from Maui and are spending the week here. We've had a lot of fun.
A few things about this day:
Emily had an angel food cake with fresh berries on top. She loved the berries.
Emily got three dolls for her birthday. One from Mama (me), one from Grandma, and one from Auntie Karlen.
Emily got some clothes - all three sizes too big for her. She has some growing to do. (She got a onesie that was size 24 month and said "My 1st Birthday" which seems...not right.)
A few things about Toddler Emily:
She started walking months ago and now can run.
She loves to dance.
She wears 12-18 month clothes.
She wears a shoe size 4.
She needs a haircut, but I'm not going to give her one.
She likes to eat fruit, cheese, cheerios, yogurt, eggs, carrots, and lettuce. Like a true hawaii baby she likes spam. But she'll try anything.
She can say: Mama, Daddy, Kitty cat, Meow, Hi, Bye, Tree, Blue, Fish, Books, Bird, among hundreds of other words.
She will read her books to herself.
She loves cars and trucks. (I got her some dump trucks for her birthday too.)
She has six teeth officially.
She is a super happy, super easy, super fun child. She is my best friend and I love being with her.
A few things about this day:
Emily had an angel food cake with fresh berries on top. She loved the berries.
Emily got three dolls for her birthday. One from Mama (me), one from Grandma, and one from Auntie Karlen.
Emily got some clothes - all three sizes too big for her. She has some growing to do. (She got a onesie that was size 24 month and said "My 1st Birthday" which seems...not right.)
A few things about Toddler Emily:
She started walking months ago and now can run.
She loves to dance.
She wears 12-18 month clothes.
She wears a shoe size 4.
She needs a haircut, but I'm not going to give her one.
She likes to eat fruit, cheese, cheerios, yogurt, eggs, carrots, and lettuce. Like a true hawaii baby she likes spam. But she'll try anything.
She can say: Mama, Daddy, Kitty cat, Meow, Hi, Bye, Tree, Blue, Fish, Books, Bird, among hundreds of other words.
She will read her books to herself.
She loves cars and trucks. (I got her some dump trucks for her birthday too.)
She has six teeth officially.
She is a super happy, super easy, super fun child. She is my best friend and I love being with her.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Half-Day
Today was one of those strange days when the hint of my life before baby, house, marriage, and Oahu came sneaking back.
We took a trip to Haunama Bay today to go snorkeling. It took a lot of packing and planning to figure out a day we could get down there. We also managed to tempt our new babysitter (and new friend) to come out and get some snorkeling in as well as playing with Emily on the beach while D and I had sometime in the water alone. That little hour where we swished through the water by ourselves, pointing out fish to each other, was a rare and wonderful time.
And then it happened. In the middle of a throng on snorkeling tourists D swam up to me and wrapped his arm around my waist completely unbidden. We treaded water there and shared an public, yet intimate, moment. It was almost like when we were falling in love and stealing any moment to touch. It was almost like before.
Then of course we returned to the shore and life. I went back to the baby. We played in the surf, took a walk along the wet sand. D went out with friends for long treks through the reef. Then home, a bath for the baby, a nap for Dad, a diaper change.
And it happened again. I found myself lounging in my chair, legs perched over the armrest, falling into a book completely. D and a friend were playing chess. The sun was setting. The house was quiet. For a minute I was back to being the young, unmarried woman who could spend her days with a book and a cup of tea. A woman who took the time to fall into and in love with a new story while her boyfriend spent time silently playing a game.
Then of course the baby whined for a hug and I drank my tea down quickly with her perched on my hip.
But for a few moments today who I was before managed to peek through. I spent half a day as myself and half a day as my new self.
We took a trip to Haunama Bay today to go snorkeling. It took a lot of packing and planning to figure out a day we could get down there. We also managed to tempt our new babysitter (and new friend) to come out and get some snorkeling in as well as playing with Emily on the beach while D and I had sometime in the water alone. That little hour where we swished through the water by ourselves, pointing out fish to each other, was a rare and wonderful time.
And then it happened. In the middle of a throng on snorkeling tourists D swam up to me and wrapped his arm around my waist completely unbidden. We treaded water there and shared an public, yet intimate, moment. It was almost like when we were falling in love and stealing any moment to touch. It was almost like before.
Then of course we returned to the shore and life. I went back to the baby. We played in the surf, took a walk along the wet sand. D went out with friends for long treks through the reef. Then home, a bath for the baby, a nap for Dad, a diaper change.
And it happened again. I found myself lounging in my chair, legs perched over the armrest, falling into a book completely. D and a friend were playing chess. The sun was setting. The house was quiet. For a minute I was back to being the young, unmarried woman who could spend her days with a book and a cup of tea. A woman who took the time to fall into and in love with a new story while her boyfriend spent time silently playing a game.
Then of course the baby whined for a hug and I drank my tea down quickly with her perched on my hip.
But for a few moments today who I was before managed to peek through. I spent half a day as myself and half a day as my new self.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Project: Squid!
I've mentioned a few times that among my chores I've been making squid. I was not talking about an awesome new calamari recipe - I was talking about these:
That is a blue squid with fins and a yellow squid without fins. It's hard to tell in this picture, but they both have eyes made with a collection of gathered double-crochets.
A fellow yarn crafter started a Hyperbolic Crochet Coral Reef here in Hawaii. I sadly had to miss out on being part of her show at Mark's Garage earlier this year, but I did get lucky enough to help out with the latest show happening tomorrow at Waikiki Aquarium's Family Night: Meet the Molluscs. They/we are giving away crocheted squids for the event. I got to make some squid.
They aren't hard to make, though I really admire the crafter for building her own pattern for them. I made about eleven squid in various colors mostly using baby yarn because I had some lying around.
Now that I've been doing nothing but crocheting squid I am quite frankly sick of crochet. I need my knitting needles. I don't think I'll want to crochet for a long time. But the squid are cute. I hope the aquarium kids think they're fun.
A fellow yarn crafter started a Hyperbolic Crochet Coral Reef here in Hawaii. I sadly had to miss out on being part of her show at Mark's Garage earlier this year, but I did get lucky enough to help out with the latest show happening tomorrow at Waikiki Aquarium's Family Night: Meet the Molluscs. They/we are giving away crocheted squids for the event. I got to make some squid.
They aren't hard to make, though I really admire the crafter for building her own pattern for them. I made about eleven squid in various colors mostly using baby yarn because I had some lying around.
Now that I've been doing nothing but crocheting squid I am quite frankly sick of crochet. I need my knitting needles. I don't think I'll want to crochet for a long time. But the squid are cute. I hope the aquarium kids think they're fun.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Stranger and Stranger
Last week my husband and I switched cars so I could get his serviced while he was at work. Everything went fine until the next day when I got my car back. My tire pressure was low (or the little sign that says "hey your tire pressure is low" was on at least). I didn't see anything really wrong with the tires or the car so I went on my way with the idea that I would put some air in later.
Okay, I lied. I was going to make my husband put some air in later. I just did all my errands and trips as normal. I'm not proud.
When I got home the tire pressure still said low so I went around the car to check again, just in case. Or I intended to except that the neighborhood landscapers were cutting the lawn and bushes. That wouldn't stop me from check tires would it? It would if the guy cutting the patch of grass outside our neighbors house hadn't pulled his pants down and started to pee on a tree. I think he did anyway. I only stuck around to see him pull down his pants After that Emily and I ran into the house and I forgot about the tires (and the groceries that were sitting in my trunk).
So there was a guy peeing on the tree which was strange. Very strange.
Later that night when I finally got out to my driveway (to look for someone trying to find our house) I notice one of the back tires was flat. Not just low. Flat. Really flat.
And that's strange. But I guess not that much.
The next morning we got the car to the service center and they patched it up and it's all fine. Except the thing that caused the flat: A box cutter blade. Seriously.
That's really strange.
We've been trying to figure out how my husband (who had the car) managed to get a box cutter blade stuck in the tire. I thought he must have driven somewhere where there were, you know, box cutters. He wonders if we weren't targeted because there are some parking wars going on where he works. My car is easy to target because it is covered in pink hearts. It's the only car on the island with pink hearts. (There is another black car in Ewa that has pink flowers - that's not me. I'm the one with the hearts.) Most people know my car even if they don't know me.
It's strange my husband drove my car. It's strange I saw someone peeing on a tree. It's strange there was a box cutter in my tire. And it's even stranger that all this happened and it's not till after a whole week and weekend that I finally realized that this isn't normal.
Okay, I lied. I was going to make my husband put some air in later. I just did all my errands and trips as normal. I'm not proud.
When I got home the tire pressure still said low so I went around the car to check again, just in case. Or I intended to except that the neighborhood landscapers were cutting the lawn and bushes. That wouldn't stop me from check tires would it? It would if the guy cutting the patch of grass outside our neighbors house hadn't pulled his pants down and started to pee on a tree. I think he did anyway. I only stuck around to see him pull down his pants After that Emily and I ran into the house and I forgot about the tires (and the groceries that were sitting in my trunk).
So there was a guy peeing on the tree which was strange. Very strange.
Later that night when I finally got out to my driveway (to look for someone trying to find our house) I notice one of the back tires was flat. Not just low. Flat. Really flat.
And that's strange. But I guess not that much.
The next morning we got the car to the service center and they patched it up and it's all fine. Except the thing that caused the flat: A box cutter blade. Seriously.
That's really strange.
We've been trying to figure out how my husband (who had the car) managed to get a box cutter blade stuck in the tire. I thought he must have driven somewhere where there were, you know, box cutters. He wonders if we weren't targeted because there are some parking wars going on where he works. My car is easy to target because it is covered in pink hearts. It's the only car on the island with pink hearts. (There is another black car in Ewa that has pink flowers - that's not me. I'm the one with the hearts.) Most people know my car even if they don't know me.
It's strange my husband drove my car. It's strange I saw someone peeing on a tree. It's strange there was a box cutter in my tire. And it's even stranger that all this happened and it's not till after a whole week and weekend that I finally realized that this isn't normal.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Nightlife after Baby
When Emily was about a two months old our neighborhood held a movie-in-the-park night for families. I invited a bunch of other moms and their children to come out and see it with me. I suggested we meet at 6:30pm on a Friday night so we could see the movie that started at 7:00pm.
It didn't go over well. I was scolded for even suggesting something that started so late. Apparently bedtime was 6:00pm for all of these children and I was a horrible mother for suggesting the outing and an even more terrible parent for taking my child out to something so late in the day.
I can understand that other children may need an extremely early bedtime. Some of them need to go to school early, some need extra sleep because they no longer nap, so just are on the early bedtime schedule and it works for them. At the time Emily was two months old and it didn't matter where I took her she was going to do one of two things: nurse or sleep. I figured I might as well watch a movie while she did. Later, after the scolding, these mothers told me that I wouldn't be able to do anything after 6:00pm once Emily turned 3 months old. I would HAVE to set the sleep routine early. I would not be able to go out at 10:00am when it was time for her nap. I would not be able to go out in the afternoon when it was time for another nap. I would not be able to leave the house - ever.
At 11 months with a little mommy-confidence under my belt I can now say a big fat whatever.
On Friday night Historic Hawaii Theater showed the Oahu Premiere of Get A Job. The show was filmed in Maui and starred a lot of people who I did theater with there. I was not going to miss the premiere. Unfortunately, my husband had an event of his own that he could not miss. So Emily was my date for the night.
The show started at 7:30pm. We were treated to a quick concert by the Barefoot Natives who were also the stars of the show. Emily danced to each song and even sang along with Wille K. (Thankfully we were in the back so no one heard her harmonizing.) After the music and intermission they screened the full-length movie. Emily loved it. So did I. It was funny and sweet and it was fun to watch.
Later, we sat for the question and answer segment. Then we got our poster signed by some of the movie stars. Eric Gilliom even signed a CD for Emily. What baby gets to go to a movie premiere at 11 months and hob-nob with the stars? My baby that's who. And all because I refuse to stay home.
Emily was fine the whole way through. We sat in the back in case I needed to leave the theater (I am aware other people are trying to enjoy their night too) but we didn't have to. Emily was enamored with the live music and the quirky comedy. Half-way through she got tired and so she curled up on my lap and drifted off. She woke up for the signing and we got home a little after midnight. I had a wonderful time, Emily had a great time, and we didn't have any tantrums or problems.
I just refuse, refuse, to miss these special events. I love my daughter. I want her to be happy, comfortable, and healthy. I am more than willing to do whatever it takes to get there. That being said I also want to be a health, comfortable, happy mama. I can't imagine sequestering myself just because I have a baby. I also can't imagine Emily missing out on all the wonderful parts of life just because she is a baby. She'll let me know when she's tired, hungry, needs a break, or wants to go home. When she does we'll do something about it. Till then she can come live life with me.
It didn't go over well. I was scolded for even suggesting something that started so late. Apparently bedtime was 6:00pm for all of these children and I was a horrible mother for suggesting the outing and an even more terrible parent for taking my child out to something so late in the day.
I can understand that other children may need an extremely early bedtime. Some of them need to go to school early, some need extra sleep because they no longer nap, so just are on the early bedtime schedule and it works for them. At the time Emily was two months old and it didn't matter where I took her she was going to do one of two things: nurse or sleep. I figured I might as well watch a movie while she did. Later, after the scolding, these mothers told me that I wouldn't be able to do anything after 6:00pm once Emily turned 3 months old. I would HAVE to set the sleep routine early. I would not be able to go out at 10:00am when it was time for her nap. I would not be able to go out in the afternoon when it was time for another nap. I would not be able to leave the house - ever.
At 11 months with a little mommy-confidence under my belt I can now say a big fat whatever.
On Friday night Historic Hawaii Theater showed the Oahu Premiere of Get A Job. The show was filmed in Maui and starred a lot of people who I did theater with there. I was not going to miss the premiere. Unfortunately, my husband had an event of his own that he could not miss. So Emily was my date for the night.
The show started at 7:30pm. We were treated to a quick concert by the Barefoot Natives who were also the stars of the show. Emily danced to each song and even sang along with Wille K. (Thankfully we were in the back so no one heard her harmonizing.) After the music and intermission they screened the full-length movie. Emily loved it. So did I. It was funny and sweet and it was fun to watch.
Later, we sat for the question and answer segment. Then we got our poster signed by some of the movie stars. Eric Gilliom even signed a CD for Emily. What baby gets to go to a movie premiere at 11 months and hob-nob with the stars? My baby that's who. And all because I refuse to stay home.
Emily was fine the whole way through. We sat in the back in case I needed to leave the theater (I am aware other people are trying to enjoy their night too) but we didn't have to. Emily was enamored with the live music and the quirky comedy. Half-way through she got tired and so she curled up on my lap and drifted off. She woke up for the signing and we got home a little after midnight. I had a wonderful time, Emily had a great time, and we didn't have any tantrums or problems.
I just refuse, refuse, to miss these special events. I love my daughter. I want her to be happy, comfortable, and healthy. I am more than willing to do whatever it takes to get there. That being said I also want to be a health, comfortable, happy mama. I can't imagine sequestering myself just because I have a baby. I also can't imagine Emily missing out on all the wonderful parts of life just because she is a baby. She'll let me know when she's tired, hungry, needs a break, or wants to go home. When she does we'll do something about it. Till then she can come live life with me.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Beach Memories
This weekend we, as a family, had one of the best weekends ever. The kind of weekend where the memories are so nice that you don't mind it ending because you can keep thinking about it. And it makes you smile.
Saturday we spent time doing things we love. I went to a workshop for a crochet project I've volunteered for. A bunch of women, sitting in a yarn shop, making stuff with yarn. That is what I call a perfect afternoon. While I did that D took Emily down to Waikiki and they played chess with the random chess lovers that meet near the Duke Kahanamoku Statue. To D that is a perfect afternoon. Pretty perfect for Emily too because she adores hanging out with her Daddy. After getting to spend the afternoon apart, stretching our individuality, we came back together to spend a nice, quiet, evening watching a movie and eating cheese.
Sunday was more time together. We got out to church for the first time in a month and then rushed home to change so we could all go out and play at Ko Olina Beach Lagoons. D had his first experience snorkeling. Emily had her first experience swimming in the "deep" part of the ocean. Up till this point she had only ever sat in the surf and fussed whenever a wave would come up too hard. Sunday she loved everything and was quite the little dolphin. Her cheeks must have been hurting from all the smiling she was doing.
We rounded out our weekend by taking a long drive down the leeward coast, past Makaha and all the way to Kaena Point. Driving home we saw the sunset over the ocean. A vision I saw everyday growing up in Maui, but something that is still magical.
It doesn't sound like much, but there was something rather alive about this weekend. As if, finally, after all this work and planning and building we found the chance to live a day rather than get through a day. Life has been busy for us here and at the same time pretty boring. A house, a family, a wedding, school, work - it all starts to pile on the stress and depression. Even when we were having fun and doing wonderful things there was an undercurrent of stress that kept enjoyment away. Just going to the beach, the very picture of paradise, seemed like a lot of work and chores to me. I'm not sure my husband felt the same way, but my attitude probably didn't help him relax.
But this weekend, this very simple weekend, gave me a chance to exhale. As I swam out to the breakers and looked out at the ocean expanding ahead I finally felt that feeling only the ocean can give: the feeling of being weightless, small, yet significant because that ocean connects you to all parts of the world all at once.
I didn't take a single picture this weekend. There is no keepsake from this weekend to remember it by save some extra sand. But I know these past few days will be some of my favorite memories of our time living in Oahu and being a family of three. I am so grateful that these are good memories - finally.
Saturday we spent time doing things we love. I went to a workshop for a crochet project I've volunteered for. A bunch of women, sitting in a yarn shop, making stuff with yarn. That is what I call a perfect afternoon. While I did that D took Emily down to Waikiki and they played chess with the random chess lovers that meet near the Duke Kahanamoku Statue. To D that is a perfect afternoon. Pretty perfect for Emily too because she adores hanging out with her Daddy. After getting to spend the afternoon apart, stretching our individuality, we came back together to spend a nice, quiet, evening watching a movie and eating cheese.
Sunday was more time together. We got out to church for the first time in a month and then rushed home to change so we could all go out and play at Ko Olina Beach Lagoons. D had his first experience snorkeling. Emily had her first experience swimming in the "deep" part of the ocean. Up till this point she had only ever sat in the surf and fussed whenever a wave would come up too hard. Sunday she loved everything and was quite the little dolphin. Her cheeks must have been hurting from all the smiling she was doing.
We rounded out our weekend by taking a long drive down the leeward coast, past Makaha and all the way to Kaena Point. Driving home we saw the sunset over the ocean. A vision I saw everyday growing up in Maui, but something that is still magical.
It doesn't sound like much, but there was something rather alive about this weekend. As if, finally, after all this work and planning and building we found the chance to live a day rather than get through a day. Life has been busy for us here and at the same time pretty boring. A house, a family, a wedding, school, work - it all starts to pile on the stress and depression. Even when we were having fun and doing wonderful things there was an undercurrent of stress that kept enjoyment away. Just going to the beach, the very picture of paradise, seemed like a lot of work and chores to me. I'm not sure my husband felt the same way, but my attitude probably didn't help him relax.
But this weekend, this very simple weekend, gave me a chance to exhale. As I swam out to the breakers and looked out at the ocean expanding ahead I finally felt that feeling only the ocean can give: the feeling of being weightless, small, yet significant because that ocean connects you to all parts of the world all at once.
I didn't take a single picture this weekend. There is no keepsake from this weekend to remember it by save some extra sand. But I know these past few days will be some of my favorite memories of our time living in Oahu and being a family of three. I am so grateful that these are good memories - finally.
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