The other day I went to my normal doctor to see if he couldn't help me with this cold I've had for awhile. I haven't been there for a long time so they didn't know I was 13 weeks pregnant when I first came in.
The first they did was of course weigh me. I stepped up and we looked at the scale: 125.2 lbs. The nurse looked and chirped happily "Oh good for you! You lost six pounds!"
Again, I hadn't told her I was pregnant yet. She didn't know that I have been worrying about losing weight for the past three months. She didn't say this as a disparaging remark and had no reason to think it would hurt my feelings. In fact, she was trying to be super nice and encouraging, because what woman doesn't want to be thinner - right?
Actually, 125 is low for me. Unhealthily low. At 130 (my normal when I'm depressed/recovering from depression) I look like a zombie. My face loses all fat and sinks in. The circles under my eyes are more prominent. My hips and butt verge on boyish. At 125 even my breasts (which used to be ample) are gone. I look like a sad, sad, old woman. Six pounds isn't anything to celebrate. However, isn't it always the way that weight loss is celebrated - no matter the situation. I'm reminded of a joke by Kathy Griffin that when she found out her sister had cancer she was jealous that she was going to be so skinny.
I feel like this is a mostly female thing. I don't think that men go to the doctor and get a cheer squad on the scale. Honestly, do they even get a comment either way? When I was pregnant with Emily I gained one pound in a week. The nurse, without any prompting, patted me on the shoulder and said "Don't worry, that's probably all baby weight gain." Would anyone think to try and reassure a man over a single pound?
Even my daughter is stuck on it. She was a super chubby baby. Nurses would comment and say that she was a very pretty baby (she so is) but so fat. The problem there is the "but," as if that keeps her from being as pretty as she could be. And she wasn't even a year old yet!
I don't know when we thought that weight was suddenly the topic that was allowed to be discussed openly and without tact. I think maybe we should go back to discussing it like we discuss laundry: we don't. Not unless you're helping to do it!
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Spread it around
On New Year's Eve I took Emily to the Hawaii Children's Discovery Center for their "Countdown to Noon" Balloon Drop. We had a great time playing there, we always do. The Balloon Drop was less than exciting, mostly because I had to pull Emily out from the big drop because parents kept stepping on her. Let me repeat that: Parents kept pushing her around and stepping on her. The kids were very careful around all the smaller babies.
I try to take Emily to the Discovery Center often. It's fun and she can touch and play with whatever she wants. However, I do try to avoid it when it's super busy because things can get a little rowdy. The exceptions are holidays like Halloween and New Year's. Also, every time we've gone to the Center when it was full Emily and I have both caught some awful cold. We get away germ free when it's not full.
So of course since I took her when it was packed we are now both fighting a particularly icky cold. This not only means we both feel terrible, we don't get to go do anything. We don't get to do anything because when my kid is a mess of germ infested snot I try to keep her away from kids who are not covered in germ infested snot. Call me crazy, but I just think it's good manners.
Of course now that I am sick, hot, tired, and really, really, crabby I have this great desire to find the parents who took their sick kid to the Discovery Center at New Years and pass this little snot-bug back to them. In my most vindictive I fantasize that it has already mutated and those parents will be blessed with at least a whole week of grouchy, unhappy kids and a hacking cough that keeps them out of school and bored with daytime television. Ha-ha-ha--achoo.
But I won't. Because I don't want to get people sick. Well not the nice people anyway.
I try to take Emily to the Discovery Center often. It's fun and she can touch and play with whatever she wants. However, I do try to avoid it when it's super busy because things can get a little rowdy. The exceptions are holidays like Halloween and New Year's. Also, every time we've gone to the Center when it was full Emily and I have both caught some awful cold. We get away germ free when it's not full.
So of course since I took her when it was packed we are now both fighting a particularly icky cold. This not only means we both feel terrible, we don't get to go do anything. We don't get to do anything because when my kid is a mess of germ infested snot I try to keep her away from kids who are not covered in germ infested snot. Call me crazy, but I just think it's good manners.
Of course now that I am sick, hot, tired, and really, really, crabby I have this great desire to find the parents who took their sick kid to the Discovery Center at New Years and pass this little snot-bug back to them. In my most vindictive I fantasize that it has already mutated and those parents will be blessed with at least a whole week of grouchy, unhappy kids and a hacking cough that keeps them out of school and bored with daytime television. Ha-ha-ha--achoo.
But I won't. Because I don't want to get people sick. Well not the nice people anyway.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Sleep
The other day my husband asked me "If you had a super power, which one would you want?" and I answered "To get by without needing sleep."
Because for the past few weeks I've had to get by without any sleep. Emily went through a phase where she would sleep for 20 minutes to an hour before she'd wake up and cry. Not fuss, not whine, she'd cry. And it took a lot to settle her down. For naps in the day she'd go down for about half and hour, then it was go-go-go time again. She fell asleep in the car on the way back from Costco and I literally thought of pulling over and napping in the car with her.
Of course I initially blame this strange phase on teeth. Because that is the big cosmic joke isn't it? You're a baby, you have to grow tall, learn to walk, talk, eat, and ask for help in pretty much everything you do. Also - you have to do it all while in terrible, irritating, pain. Then when all the teeth come in and you're finally finished - they fall out and you have to do it all over again. Welcome to the world.
Despite my tooth-theory Emily has finally gone back to sleeping longer (2-3 1/2 hours at a time) and she still has the same amount of teeth she had before. But the dark circles under her eyes are gone and I feel more sane. So maybe they were invisible teeth.
It's amazing how much those extra hours have helped with my relationship with my daughter and my unborn baby. When sleep deprived I did not want to have another baby and I did not want to play with my current baby. Emily was bored. I was tired. Life generally sucked for both of us. Now with some sleep I've noticed the milestones Emily made while not sleeping. She likes to point at pictures in books now. She has finally figured out the shapes and holes bucket (previously she'd try, then take the lid off and put them in the bucket that way). Her new favorite food are clementines and she calls them "Mama." Generally, she's an amazing child. I had no idea because I was too tired.
Also, while I wasn't sleeping my other baby grew arms and legs and when you look at it through an ultrasound you can see its little head being...headlike. When I stare at the picture now I see how amazing it is that these kids can grow so much in such little time. Which is a huge improvement from a week ago when all I could see was how annoying it was that they can get by on such little sleep.
Because for the past few weeks I've had to get by without any sleep. Emily went through a phase where she would sleep for 20 minutes to an hour before she'd wake up and cry. Not fuss, not whine, she'd cry. And it took a lot to settle her down. For naps in the day she'd go down for about half and hour, then it was go-go-go time again. She fell asleep in the car on the way back from Costco and I literally thought of pulling over and napping in the car with her.
Of course I initially blame this strange phase on teeth. Because that is the big cosmic joke isn't it? You're a baby, you have to grow tall, learn to walk, talk, eat, and ask for help in pretty much everything you do. Also - you have to do it all while in terrible, irritating, pain. Then when all the teeth come in and you're finally finished - they fall out and you have to do it all over again. Welcome to the world.
Despite my tooth-theory Emily has finally gone back to sleeping longer (2-3 1/2 hours at a time) and she still has the same amount of teeth she had before. But the dark circles under her eyes are gone and I feel more sane. So maybe they were invisible teeth.
It's amazing how much those extra hours have helped with my relationship with my daughter and my unborn baby. When sleep deprived I did not want to have another baby and I did not want to play with my current baby. Emily was bored. I was tired. Life generally sucked for both of us. Now with some sleep I've noticed the milestones Emily made while not sleeping. She likes to point at pictures in books now. She has finally figured out the shapes and holes bucket (previously she'd try, then take the lid off and put them in the bucket that way). Her new favorite food are clementines and she calls them "Mama." Generally, she's an amazing child. I had no idea because I was too tired.
Also, while I wasn't sleeping my other baby grew arms and legs and when you look at it through an ultrasound you can see its little head being...headlike. When I stare at the picture now I see how amazing it is that these kids can grow so much in such little time. Which is a huge improvement from a week ago when all I could see was how annoying it was that they can get by on such little sleep.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Hau'oli Makahiki Hou!
I stopped making the typical resolutions a few years ago. Honestly, why start the year off feeling bad because after the holidays I am simply too tired to start a big new regimen of stuff. Besides, despite all the depression and insecurity, I actually like myself the way I am. So there.
Instead the new year is a great time to resolve to do things I want to do. So here is what I'd like to work on this year:
Learning to knit Continental style (I've always been an English knitter, I know how to do it the other way, I just need to perfect it)
Sew more
Sing more
Make more yummy salads for dinner
Sleep one full, complete night, all the way through (this is really a resolution for Emily)
That's it. Happy New Year!
Instead the new year is a great time to resolve to do things I want to do. So here is what I'd like to work on this year:
Learning to knit Continental style (I've always been an English knitter, I know how to do it the other way, I just need to perfect it)
Sew more
Sing more
Make more yummy salads for dinner
Sleep one full, complete night, all the way through (this is really a resolution for Emily)
That's it. Happy New Year!
Friday, December 30, 2011
Lonely
For Christmas Emily and I flew over to Maui to spend time with my parents. I had a wonderful time being back home and we did great things like visiting my favorite goat farm, walking along the beach, eating amazing food, shopping. However, the best part of the trip was the company.
It seems strange that in a job like motherhood-at-home where you are literally never apart from your child you could feel so lonely. In the past 16 months there have been very few times when I've actually been alone. Maybe a quick trip to the store here and there, or a short nap. When I'm lucky I get to shower alone. Lately, I've even been able to close the door for a moment while I go to the bathroom and boy is that a luxury! But despite being in constant company of my most favorite person in the whole world I am pretty lonely.
In Maui, when Emily and I got out of bed, my parents were there to share breakfast with and generally chat. For Christmas, after the hustle of present opening, we spent the day simply napping and resting together. Not a lot of talk or purpose. Just being together with my mom and my baby, enjoying Hawaii.
After I got home I went back to routine. Emily and I snuck out of bed, careful not to wake up D since he is on a different sleep/work schedule than Emily. We spent the morning playing and having a leisurely breakfast. D got up later and played with us. Then we went to bed early and D joined us later. It was a special day since D didn't have to go to work, on work days he gets up either later than us or much earlier and we either wake up without him or see him off right before we're planning the afternoon nap. All times between this are me and Emily hanging out. Sometimes we have playdates or excursions. I have clubs and meetings I drag her along too. However, primarily it's just us girls and for some reason I feel super lonely at these times.
It's not because Emily can't talk yet. She babbles, but I don't really need the conversation. I didn't have a lot of it with my mom. What I think I need is more quiet company of people who understand me. Often I hear young girls and mothers say that it's great to have a person who will love them no matter what. I don't get that with Emily. She loves me, that's clear. I love her too - no matter what. But when we spend time together I don't feel she knows me and thinks I'm grand because I am who I am. She thinks I'm grand because I take care of her, feed her, clean her, hug her, work hard to make sure she's comfortable and happy. She also thinks I'm a pain the neck because I do all these things. I'm there for her and that's the way it should be, but it sure is a lonely job.
I fluctuate between desperately needing space - a time to be an adult without Emily or D expecting me to be Mom and Wife to needing no space at all and needing lots of people around me. It's like being on my own island. Water everywhere, not a drop to drink.
It seems strange that in a job like motherhood-at-home where you are literally never apart from your child you could feel so lonely. In the past 16 months there have been very few times when I've actually been alone. Maybe a quick trip to the store here and there, or a short nap. When I'm lucky I get to shower alone. Lately, I've even been able to close the door for a moment while I go to the bathroom and boy is that a luxury! But despite being in constant company of my most favorite person in the whole world I am pretty lonely.
In Maui, when Emily and I got out of bed, my parents were there to share breakfast with and generally chat. For Christmas, after the hustle of present opening, we spent the day simply napping and resting together. Not a lot of talk or purpose. Just being together with my mom and my baby, enjoying Hawaii.
After I got home I went back to routine. Emily and I snuck out of bed, careful not to wake up D since he is on a different sleep/work schedule than Emily. We spent the morning playing and having a leisurely breakfast. D got up later and played with us. Then we went to bed early and D joined us later. It was a special day since D didn't have to go to work, on work days he gets up either later than us or much earlier and we either wake up without him or see him off right before we're planning the afternoon nap. All times between this are me and Emily hanging out. Sometimes we have playdates or excursions. I have clubs and meetings I drag her along too. However, primarily it's just us girls and for some reason I feel super lonely at these times.
It's not because Emily can't talk yet. She babbles, but I don't really need the conversation. I didn't have a lot of it with my mom. What I think I need is more quiet company of people who understand me. Often I hear young girls and mothers say that it's great to have a person who will love them no matter what. I don't get that with Emily. She loves me, that's clear. I love her too - no matter what. But when we spend time together I don't feel she knows me and thinks I'm grand because I am who I am. She thinks I'm grand because I take care of her, feed her, clean her, hug her, work hard to make sure she's comfortable and happy. She also thinks I'm a pain the neck because I do all these things. I'm there for her and that's the way it should be, but it sure is a lonely job.
I fluctuate between desperately needing space - a time to be an adult without Emily or D expecting me to be Mom and Wife to needing no space at all and needing lots of people around me. It's like being on my own island. Water everywhere, not a drop to drink.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Christmas in Hawaii
Today one of my friends in Chicago posted a picture of the highway covered in snow and claimed "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas." From what I heard it was beginning to look like Christmas in October on the East Coast.
Hawaii gets a lot of scoffing because we don't have "seasons." This is untrue. We have lots of season. We have the hot season, the mango season, the whale season, the rainy season, kiawe season, hurricane season...we have tons of seasons.
Back when I lived on Maui winter came with snow too. At the top of the mountain. The very top of Haleakala. It is always cold up there (no really, bring a coat!), but during winter it will get snowy and icy. I lived on Maui back when keeping people alive was not a priority so they let us Mauians drive up there when it snowed. That would be a ton of people who have never seen ice in anything but a drink driving up a steep, should-be-one-lane, switch back road that ends in an abrupt drop some 10,000 feet long. I would make some snowballs and we'd take them back down to Kahului and watch them melt.
Oahu doesn't have natural snow like Maui does. Instead Pearl Highlands Center trucked in an advertised 40 tons of snow and dumped it in the parking lot in front of the movie theater. I wasn't sure what 40 tons of snow looked like, but I thought it would make more than two little piles. We tried to play in it, but it was mostly just a slippery mound of ice and Emily was totally freaked out by the kids running to the top then sliding down just as quickly. She patted a snowball for awhile and then we left. That was Emily's first taste of snow. She wore shorts, a t-shirt, and her sandals.
Other holiday highlights in Hawaii include the arrival of Santa Claus - by canoe at the Outrigger Waikiki. Here Santa often wears an aloha shirt and board shorts. And slippahs. I actually think this is a cop out and I prefer the Santa's who tough out the heat and wear the full coat. Last year Pearlridge Santa wore the fuzzy pants but opted for shirt sleeves and suspenders. And no hat. Lame.
In Hawaii not all of us decorate palm trees. Some of us do. Some opt for the tropical Cook Pine. I got a Noble Fir. On Maui there is a tree farm in Kula where you need to wear a sweater and can pick out your own tree. On Oahu we got ours at Don Quixote. I wonder if the Don Quixote's in Japan also sell trees?
My biggest problem with Christmas in Hawaii is finding pajamas for Emily. If they are in her size they are not very cute and/or they are covered in branded characters. I have no problem with Emily liking characters and will indulge her when she decides what she loves, but I don't want to force it till she does. Also, if I do find pajamas that are cute and fit her they are incredibly too warm for Ewa Beach. No footies, no long sleeves, no fleece - please. A cute set of santa-like swim suits would be just fine. But no one makes those.
The best part of Christmas this year has been our garden. D finally found sometime to really put it together and we've been working outside to plant and make things look nice out there. That's right. It's mid-December and we've been working in the garden. In shorts.
Mele Kalikimaka.
Hawaii gets a lot of scoffing because we don't have "seasons." This is untrue. We have lots of season. We have the hot season, the mango season, the whale season, the rainy season, kiawe season, hurricane season...we have tons of seasons.
Back when I lived on Maui winter came with snow too. At the top of the mountain. The very top of Haleakala. It is always cold up there (no really, bring a coat!), but during winter it will get snowy and icy. I lived on Maui back when keeping people alive was not a priority so they let us Mauians drive up there when it snowed. That would be a ton of people who have never seen ice in anything but a drink driving up a steep, should-be-one-lane, switch back road that ends in an abrupt drop some 10,000 feet long. I would make some snowballs and we'd take them back down to Kahului and watch them melt.
Oahu doesn't have natural snow like Maui does. Instead Pearl Highlands Center trucked in an advertised 40 tons of snow and dumped it in the parking lot in front of the movie theater. I wasn't sure what 40 tons of snow looked like, but I thought it would make more than two little piles. We tried to play in it, but it was mostly just a slippery mound of ice and Emily was totally freaked out by the kids running to the top then sliding down just as quickly. She patted a snowball for awhile and then we left. That was Emily's first taste of snow. She wore shorts, a t-shirt, and her sandals.
Other holiday highlights in Hawaii include the arrival of Santa Claus - by canoe at the Outrigger Waikiki. Here Santa often wears an aloha shirt and board shorts. And slippahs. I actually think this is a cop out and I prefer the Santa's who tough out the heat and wear the full coat. Last year Pearlridge Santa wore the fuzzy pants but opted for shirt sleeves and suspenders. And no hat. Lame.
In Hawaii not all of us decorate palm trees. Some of us do. Some opt for the tropical Cook Pine. I got a Noble Fir. On Maui there is a tree farm in Kula where you need to wear a sweater and can pick out your own tree. On Oahu we got ours at Don Quixote. I wonder if the Don Quixote's in Japan also sell trees?
My biggest problem with Christmas in Hawaii is finding pajamas for Emily. If they are in her size they are not very cute and/or they are covered in branded characters. I have no problem with Emily liking characters and will indulge her when she decides what she loves, but I don't want to force it till she does. Also, if I do find pajamas that are cute and fit her they are incredibly too warm for Ewa Beach. No footies, no long sleeves, no fleece - please. A cute set of santa-like swim suits would be just fine. But no one makes those.
The best part of Christmas this year has been our garden. D finally found sometime to really put it together and we've been working outside to plant and make things look nice out there. That's right. It's mid-December and we've been working in the garden. In shorts.
Mele Kalikimaka.
Monday, December 12, 2011
All wishes are equal
I know I posted recently about how much I love Christmas and the Christmas spirit it brings. I still love the goodwill that gets thrown about. I still love the fact that people go out of their way to reach to neighbors and strangers. I still love it all. I do.
But I see the dark side to it too. Christmas is a time when more is asked for people having a tough time financially. People always have a hard time financially, holiday or not, but of course no one really wants to pay attention until the end of the year. I think in the face of a holiday that one of my friends affectionately calls "Giftmas" it's harder to turn away from the fact that some families can't do nice gifts or big parties. Some can't afford the extra food and fancy treats. Some are still trying to make the rent.
However, today I read some woman's post of CafeMom, about how appalled she was that in an angel tree charity (where children write down what they wish for and strangers have the option to pick a card and get them the gift) some of these children asked for things like xbox games or an ipod nano. She was totally turned off by the fact that some child who was "supposedly" needy had an xbox. Or wanted a nice toy. I have so many problems with this.
1) Take a look around. It's a bad economy. There are a lot of families that used to be doing fairly well that no longer are. They might have been able to afford an xbox before, now they can't afford the game. Instead of being put off you should be happy that, thankfully, you are still not in that position.
2) Just because they are poor does not mean they aren't children. Most kids today want the same things: electronics. A new mp3 player, video games, personal devices. Every year an item or two gets marketed up and every seven year old wants that particular thing. It's a consumer culture and children are a prime target. Do millions of toddlers need a Rock'nRoll Elmo? Probably not. Would they want it over some other toy if it hadn't been marketed to them? Again probably not. However, it has been and kids want what other kids have. Just because these children come from needy families doesn't make them any less susceptible to peers. Their friends at school will come back from break and all be talking about the new game or the new toy. In order to be part of the norm, part of the crowd, these children will want to be able to talk about it too. They, and their families, know it's not in the budget. Doesn't mean they can't hope.
3) It's called a gift! Coming from the other point, the charity is looking to get a child something they want that they normally wouldn't be able to get. Yes, they could probably use some new clothes and a few socks. But it's Christmas and I don't know any child who waits to ask Santa for some underwear. The point of asking an angel or a man in a red suit for something is that you're allowed to dream. You're allowed to ignore the fact that dinner is gonna be slim. That all year you bite your tongue and don't ask for things because you know there isn't money for it. This time though, this one time of year, you can ask for it. You can hope that someone, who doesn't have to worry about rent, might let you be a real, carefree kid this year.
4) The gift isn't for you. Yes, it's better to give than receive. Yes, it makes you feel good that you did something for someone else. Yes, that's all that should matter. But seriously, that is ALL that should matter, take the good feeling and go with it, don't go looking for affirmation. You're not gonna get a medal because you bought one kid a gift. You're not Mother Teresa because you dropped off some canned foods. You're a nice person, you might be generous, but you're not any better than the people who need the food or the gifts just because you can afford them.
For some reason there is this idea that the "poor" are some mystical beings who know the meaning of life and don't get bogged down in the material world like the rest of us. They are right up there with the "Noble Savage" and the "Mystical Wise Old Black Man/Woman." They live horrible lives and some how are just grateful to be a live. And all the poor children are like Tiny Tim, who is dying of tuberculosis and probably in terrible pain, but still takes joy in his meager, fictional, plum pudding.
It's a disservice to anyone who could fit in the above categories. Yes, family, love and togetherness are the things that will bring the most joy. However, if you are too busy assuming that these mystical people are just happy being alive then you're allowing yourself to ignore the fact that life is still a hardship for them. They might be smiling, but smiles don't fill the fridge. And Christmas, a holiday created specifically to have some fun during the darkest part of the year, it's even harder to fill up on pure gratefulness. Sometimes it would be nice to not have to be thankful just because you got a full meal that day. Even Scrooge knew this. Not only did he get the Cratchett's a goose, he bought the children toys! Tiny Tim was probably very grateful he wouldn't die, he probably really appreciated the full meal, but wasn't it nice that he also got to be spoiled with a toy too.
It's called a wish...you don't get to pass judgement on a wish!
But I see the dark side to it too. Christmas is a time when more is asked for people having a tough time financially. People always have a hard time financially, holiday or not, but of course no one really wants to pay attention until the end of the year. I think in the face of a holiday that one of my friends affectionately calls "Giftmas" it's harder to turn away from the fact that some families can't do nice gifts or big parties. Some can't afford the extra food and fancy treats. Some are still trying to make the rent.
However, today I read some woman's post of CafeMom, about how appalled she was that in an angel tree charity (where children write down what they wish for and strangers have the option to pick a card and get them the gift) some of these children asked for things like xbox games or an ipod nano. She was totally turned off by the fact that some child who was "supposedly" needy had an xbox. Or wanted a nice toy. I have so many problems with this.
1) Take a look around. It's a bad economy. There are a lot of families that used to be doing fairly well that no longer are. They might have been able to afford an xbox before, now they can't afford the game. Instead of being put off you should be happy that, thankfully, you are still not in that position.
2) Just because they are poor does not mean they aren't children. Most kids today want the same things: electronics. A new mp3 player, video games, personal devices. Every year an item or two gets marketed up and every seven year old wants that particular thing. It's a consumer culture and children are a prime target. Do millions of toddlers need a Rock'nRoll Elmo? Probably not. Would they want it over some other toy if it hadn't been marketed to them? Again probably not. However, it has been and kids want what other kids have. Just because these children come from needy families doesn't make them any less susceptible to peers. Their friends at school will come back from break and all be talking about the new game or the new toy. In order to be part of the norm, part of the crowd, these children will want to be able to talk about it too. They, and their families, know it's not in the budget. Doesn't mean they can't hope.
3) It's called a gift! Coming from the other point, the charity is looking to get a child something they want that they normally wouldn't be able to get. Yes, they could probably use some new clothes and a few socks. But it's Christmas and I don't know any child who waits to ask Santa for some underwear. The point of asking an angel or a man in a red suit for something is that you're allowed to dream. You're allowed to ignore the fact that dinner is gonna be slim. That all year you bite your tongue and don't ask for things because you know there isn't money for it. This time though, this one time of year, you can ask for it. You can hope that someone, who doesn't have to worry about rent, might let you be a real, carefree kid this year.
4) The gift isn't for you. Yes, it's better to give than receive. Yes, it makes you feel good that you did something for someone else. Yes, that's all that should matter. But seriously, that is ALL that should matter, take the good feeling and go with it, don't go looking for affirmation. You're not gonna get a medal because you bought one kid a gift. You're not Mother Teresa because you dropped off some canned foods. You're a nice person, you might be generous, but you're not any better than the people who need the food or the gifts just because you can afford them.
For some reason there is this idea that the "poor" are some mystical beings who know the meaning of life and don't get bogged down in the material world like the rest of us. They are right up there with the "Noble Savage" and the "Mystical Wise Old Black Man/Woman." They live horrible lives and some how are just grateful to be a live. And all the poor children are like Tiny Tim, who is dying of tuberculosis and probably in terrible pain, but still takes joy in his meager, fictional, plum pudding.
It's a disservice to anyone who could fit in the above categories. Yes, family, love and togetherness are the things that will bring the most joy. However, if you are too busy assuming that these mystical people are just happy being alive then you're allowing yourself to ignore the fact that life is still a hardship for them. They might be smiling, but smiles don't fill the fridge. And Christmas, a holiday created specifically to have some fun during the darkest part of the year, it's even harder to fill up on pure gratefulness. Sometimes it would be nice to not have to be thankful just because you got a full meal that day. Even Scrooge knew this. Not only did he get the Cratchett's a goose, he bought the children toys! Tiny Tim was probably very grateful he wouldn't die, he probably really appreciated the full meal, but wasn't it nice that he also got to be spoiled with a toy too.
It's called a wish...you don't get to pass judgement on a wish!
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